Young and Stupid
by RAHbooks
Summary: Before Holly met Trouble Kelp or Artemis Fowl, she met someone very important to her past and future at the LEP Acadamy. My OC . Rated T because I'm going to try to get some action in later. HollyXOC, some implied RootXVinyaya
1. Chapter 1

**AN: This is my first chapter fic. Unfortunately I don't know how often I'll be able to update as I have also just signed up for fiction press and I am trying to write a book as well as type and edit a "finished" one, and taking medical assisting classes at college. Here I am twenty years old and still reading Artemis Fowl. (shrugs) well I didn't start reading it until I was seventeen so big deal right? Anyway the good news is I don't have a job so I have more free time than most college students. I'm going to try for once a week updates, but no promises.**

**Disclaimer: I (sob) do not (sob) own (sob) Artemis Fowl (weeping and wailing).(sniffs) OK I'm over it. On with the story!**

**Young and Stupid**

**Chapter One: Oops!**

Holly Short climbed out of the smoking remains of the simulated LEP pod and jumped the short distance to the ground. She turned to see Commander Raine Vinyaya pressed stiffly against the wall with only an inch between her nose and the ruined simulator. "Um…oops," Holly murmured, aware that it was woefully inadequate.

A few hours later Holly stood in the Commander's office. "Well, I must say that I have never seen a worse pilot in my life! How in Frond's name did you manage to crash a _simulator? _It is amazing that no one - even you, well especially you - was hurt!"The commander drummed her fingers on her desk and Holly realized she was waiting for a reply.

"I just started, sir. This was my first time in the simulator. I don't know what went wrong."

"The fact that this was your first time in the simulator is the only reason I have not already written you off as failure. You should know, Short, that unless you learn to fly, and fly well, you won't stand a chance in the LEP, let alone Recon. Commander Root is tough on females as it is."

"I know Commander," Holly looked at the floor as she replied.

Vinyaya sighed, "However it is highly unlikely that this is entirely your fault. Machines that are bolted down do not routinely come loose just because a bad pilot is at the wheel. A tech team is checking the system now, most likely there was some kind of equipment failure. No doubt Foaly will see it as an excuse to redesign the entire system, he will probably see it as a favor."

Holly smiled slightly. She had never met the LEP's technical consultant, now she found herself looking forward to the day she would.

"Get back to your classes, Short. I suggest you find someone who can help you work on those flight skills." Vinyaya pretended to turn back to her paperwork as Short left the room. As soon as the door closed she looked up, frowning. She had deliberately left out any mention of the other possibility - sabotage. The student had enough to worry about as things stood, besides Vinyaya herself was, most likely, the intended target. But why such an unreliable method? The only person who was almost sure to get hurt was whoever was in the simulator. Surly, Short was not the target. She was just a first-year student, no threat to anyone yet. Unless one of her rivals for the goal of first female in Recon was trying to scare her away. Vinyaya had to admit that, out of all the students, Short stood the best chance of achieving that goal. If that had been the intention then whoever was behind it had defeated the purpose. Though she had not admitted it, Vinyaya was actually impressed that Short had stopped the simulator before it hit either her or the wall. Besides, from what she had seen if Short found out she had a rival that determined she would just push harder. She probably would not even tell any of the instructors if she knew who it was just to have the personal satisfaction of beating them herself. Vinyaya sat back in her chair and smiled. Holly Short was going places, of that she was certain. Where exactly those places were only time would tell.

With all her classes done for the day and nowhere else to go, Holly Short headed for her dorm room. Once in she went straight to her bed and picked up the Horri Antowitz novel she was reading. She knew she should really be studying, but after what happened with the simulator she figured she deserved a break.

"I heard about your accident," a familiar voice said. Holly looked up to see her roommate, Lilli Frond sitting at her vanity, painting her nails. Again.

"Who hasn't?" she groaned. There were some days when Holly really couldn't stand Lilli, but there was no better source for information. Personally she thought a career in journalism suited her roommate better than the LEP, but she had never said so out loud.

Lilli shrugged, "Maybe some of the boys, they don't gossip as much as girls. Although I'm sure their girlfriends do, so maybe they have heard."

Holly sighed and decided to change the subject. "Do you have a date tonight or something? I think this is the third time I've seen you do your nails today!"

"How can I expect to get a date if I don't keep up appearances?" she glanced critically at Holly who rolled her eyes and picked up her book, silently declaring the conversation over. Lilli went back to her nails.

A few minutes later Holly's holocomunicator beeped. She jumped up and went to her desk, there was only one person who could be calling her.

"Hello Fifi," she said brightly as the image of her older sister appeared.

"Hey there, Hollypop. How was your first day in the simulator?" Dr. Fiona Short was an archaeologist, which was a dangerous job for fairies as it meant spending weeks at a time on the surface trying to find magical artifacts before humans did. In the hologram her long, brunette hair was held back in a braid, and the surface light revealed the faint natural red highlights that were usually hidden in the dim, underground city; she was smiling and her green eyes shone with excitement. Unlike Holly, who had a willowy figure like their mother, Fiona had a stocky build. Holly liked to think that Fiona was built to withstand the elements and possibly an attack while she was built to lead one, or at least take part in one. Fiona was more laid back than her sister, though no less tough, and their mother had often claimed that Fiona was the type of person who dealt with trouble as it came while Holly was the kind that went looking for it. Considering what each had chosen as a career this seemed to be true.

"How is the dig coming?" Holly asked, ignoring her sister's question.

Fiona shrugged, "Same as yesterday, nothing yet. You know I would have said something right away if that had changed. Stop avoiding the question, how was the simulator?" Holly groaned. "That bad, huh?"

"You have no idea."

**I know the books say Holly doesn't have any family left, but if you were paying attention you know that this is **_**before**_** the books so I have plenty of time to kill her off (Probably not in this fanfic though). Anyway I'm not really sure where I'm going with the whole sabotage thing, but I find it hard to believe that Holly crashed a simulator all on her own.**

**You know how some authors on this site offer you cookies if you review? Well I'm going to do better. I'm offering you a whole batch of my MAMA'S FUDGE! Trust me it's worth it! **


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Wow, I actually made it! Thanks to all of you who reviewed and added me and my story to your favorites and alerts. That really encourages me to keep going. This chapter's a bit longer, hope you enjoy it!**

**Disclaimer: If you read chapter one, and of course you did or you would not be reading this, you are already aware that I do not own Artemis Fowl or any of the characters that are not original to my fanfics, so I don't really have to do another disclaimer. Wait, does that count?**

**Chapter Two**

**Rowan Long**

Holly was in the firing range when she first saw him. The targets were simple this time, just the standard round bull's-eye that sat in one place minding its own business, waiting to be shot. Holly found herself looking forward to the challenge of moving targets. Unlike the elf standing next to her who frequently missed, Holly hit the bull's-eye every time. The elf in question was a blue-eyed blond she would have expected to see in a movie playing a LEP officer rather than actually attending the academy to become one. She had to admit, though he was awfully cute. When the class ended he turned to her and smiled. He had a nice smile. "Nice shooting," he said.

"Thanks, maybe I can help you with that," the words were out of her mouth before she could think. He might not like being helped by a girl.

"Do you think so? That would be great! My name is Rowan Long, by the way."

Holly shook the hand he offered. "Holly Short, I do have something of an ulterior motive. Do you think you could help me with my flight skills? I'm kind of the reason the flight simulator isn't working right now."

Rowan gave her that smile again and Holly briefly wondered if it was possible she was still in puberty. "Flying I can do."

Holly was in her dorm room, waiting for Rowan to show up while Lilli was getting ready for a date. As she prepared herself she babbled constantly, "I can't believe you actually got a guy to come over! Maybe I should stay and chaperone."

"For the last time, Lilli, it is not a date. He's helping me with the flying thing, that's all."

"And you're helping him with _target practice_. You have to admit, that has possibilities."

Holly groaned, "I knew I shouldn't have told you about that."

Lilli checked herself in the mirror for the umpteenth time and turned to Holly, "Is he cute?"

"Do you ever think about anything else?"

"Homework isn't nearly as interesting if that's what you mean."

Holly stood and walked over to the window to look down at the city. It wasn't that the view was especially interesting, but Holly was afraid that if she looked at her roommate too long she was going to end up punching her.

There was a knock at the door and Holly turned. "Now is that your date, or mine?" Lilli wondered. Holly rolled her eyes and did not bother to point out, yet again, that she did not have a date.

Whoever was at the door knocked again. "Lilli, are you in there?" a concerned voice called.

"Mine," Lilli whispered and opened the door. "Sorry, I was just finishing getting ready." A moment later they were gone.

Holly sighed in relief and looked around the room, making sure there was nothing she needed to straighten out before Rowan arrived. She was a bit embarrassed by the fact that Lilli had a poster of every current "hot" actor in Haven, but there wasn't much she could do about that. She started straightening out the movies and video games stacked near the television/computer that was set into the wall. They did not really need rearranging, but there was too much time to just do nothing and not really enough time to do anything.

Holly turned to her side of the room. The only thing that was really out of place was the book she was currently reading. She scooped it off her bed and set it on her desk. As she turned away she saw the single poster she had brought which had originally been on her sister's door. Holly smiled and then started laughing as she remembered how it had gotten _there_.

She was still laughing when there was a knock at the door. She opened it and Rowan entered, smiling. "Are you going to tell me what is so funny, or is this an in joke?" he asked.

"I was just remembering the first time my mother left my sister and I at home alone. She was driving me crazy and I started chasing her through the house. When she hid in her room I punched a hole through her door."

Rowan's eyes widened, "Are you serious?"

"Yes, we covered it up with posters and Mom never found out."

"So is your sister older or younger than you?"

"Older, she was trying to be the boss."

"Here you are at the Academy and your mother still hasn't found out?"

Holly hesitated before answering, "Well, do you remember that radiation spill in the Atlantic a few months ago?"

Rowan immediately looked sorry he had asked. "Um I, well…"

"It's okay, you didn't know," Holly said. Of course it wasn't okay exactly, but she didn't know what else to say.

Rowan shook his head, "It seems humans will never learn. I know they don't know about us, but they do know they are killing other things. It's almost like they do it on purpose, which I suppose they would if they knew about us."

Holly shrugged, "Well, let's get started."

Rowan pulled something out of his pocket. Holly's eyes widened, she had not noticed that he brought anything, and video games aren't exactly easy to conceal. He laughed when he saw the look on her face. "I'm good at hiding things. My mother always said that I could walk out of a store with every item in it and no one would notice. Not that I would of course, I'm going into law enforcement, not law breaking."

Holly laughed then asked, "What branch of the LEP are you going into?"

"Recon, at least it's a chance to see the surface."

"That's what I'm going into!"

"Good luck!" he didn't say it with the "you're gonna need it" attitude Holly usually got. She could tell he was sincere and she appreciated that.

"Thanks! Why did you bring a video game anyway?"

"Sometimes it helps to make something fun, rather than a job. In this game you have to steer a LEP shuttle, and the joystick you use to play it is very similar to the controls in an actual shuttle. I thought if you could figure out the game it might not be such a stretch to the real thing."

"What about all the other controls?"

"Um…we'll get to that later. One step at a time."

Holly laughed, "I guess it's worth a try."

By the time Lilli got back from her date Holly was on level three, though not making any high scores. "I thought you were studying," Lilli sounded incredibly like a mother scolding her child.

Rowan spoke up before Holly could answer, "We were, we just needed a break. I guess we lost track of time. I should probably be going."

Holly spoke up before he could get out the door, "We never worked on your marksmanship."

"Oh, right. So…tomorrow then?"

"Sounds good to me."

"Great! Oh, and keep the game. So you can practice." Lilli looked as though she had something to say about that, but Rowan was out the door before she could get a word out.

Lilli scowled at her roommate. "Studying, right." Holly decided not to grace that with an answer.

Vinyaya scowled across her desk at the centaur whose front hooves seemed to be doing some sort of nervous tap dance. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, it was definitely tampered with. It's possible it was meant as some sort of prank." Foaly answered.

"A dangerous prank," Vinyaya responded, unamused.

"Well, yes," Foaly admitted.

"I want to know who was behind this. Prank or not they need to be dealt with."

Foaly nodded, "I'll check for fingerprints. Of course I'll have to assume that the technical team who service it are not responsible and…"

Vinyaya slammed the flat of her hand on her desk. She did not usually let her temper get the better of her, but she had no tolerance for anyone who would endanger her students and this centaur was trying what little patience she had left. "_Just do it! _The fact that they failed to notice the tampering makes them responsible, but I want to know who is putting my students at risk, and why."

"I should inform internal affairs," Foaly pointed out.

Vinyaya sighed, Ark Sool was not one of her favorite people. "If you must. Just make sure the press doesn't find out about this."

"Yes ma'em! Um sir, whatever." He turned and cantered out the door before Vinyaya could say another word.

**Well, that's all for this week. Now that Rowan Long has entered the picture those of you who may have read my first fanfic, The Hunter Hunted, probably know how this is going to end. Let me just point out that this does not mean there is no point in finishing it. I am adding a lot to it and the part that was a one-shot is probably going to be three or four chapters long.**

**Anyway, please review and tell me what you think of Rowan. The offer of fudge still stands!**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Wow, I actually made it! Thanks to all of you who reviewed and added me and my story to your favorites and alerts. That really encourages me to keep going. This chapter's a bit longer, hope you enjoy it!**

**Disclaimer: If you read chapter one, and of course you did or you would not be reading this, you are already aware that I do not own Artemis Fowl or any of the characters that are not original to my fanfics, so I don't really have to do another disclaimer. Wait, does that count?**

**Chapter Two**

**Rowan Long**

Holly was in the firing range when she first saw him. The targets were simple this time, just the standard round bull's-eye that sat in one place minding its own business, waiting to be shot. Holly found herself looking forward to the challenge of moving targets. Unlike the elf standing next to her who frequently missed, Holly hit the bull's-eye every time. The elf in question was a blue-eyed blond she would have expected to see in a movie playing a LEP officer rather than actually attending the academy to become one. She had to admit, though he was awfully cute. When the class ended he turned to her and smiled. He had a nice smile. "Nice shooting," he said.

"Thanks, maybe I can help you with that," the words were out of her mouth before she could think. He might not like being helped by a girl.

"Do you think so? That would be great! My name is Rowan Long, by the way."

Holly shook the hand he offered. "Holly Short, I do have something of an ulterior motive. Do you think you could help me with my flight skills? I'm kind of the reason the flight simulator isn't working right now."

Rowan gave her that smile again and Holly briefly wondered if it was possible she was still in puberty. "Flying I can do."

Holly was in her dorm room, waiting for Rowan to show up while Lilli was getting ready for a date. As she prepared herself she babbled constantly, "I can't believe you actually got a guy to come over! Maybe I should stay and chaperone."

"For the last time, Lilli, it is not a date. He's helping me with the flying thing, that's all."

"And you're helping him with _target practice_. You have to admit, that has possibilities."

Holly groaned, "I knew I shouldn't have told you about that."

Lilli checked herself in the mirror for the umpteenth time and turned to Holly, "Is he cute?"

"Do you ever think about anything else?"

"Homework isn't nearly as interesting if that's what you mean."

Holly stood and walked over to the window to look down at the city. It wasn't that the view was especially interesting, but Holly was afraid that if she looked at her roommate too long she was going to end up punching her.

There was a knock at the door and Holly turned. "Now is that your date, or mine?" Lilli wondered. Holly rolled her eyes and did not bother to point out, yet again, that she did not have a date.

Whoever was at the door knocked again. "Lilli, are you in there?" a concerned voice called.

"Mine," Lilli whispered and opened the door. "Sorry, I was just finishing getting ready." A moment later they were gone.

Holly sighed in relief and looked around the room, making sure there was nothing she needed to straighten out before Rowan arrived. She was a bit embarrassed by the fact that Lilli had a poster of every current "hot" actor in Haven, but there wasn't much she could do about that. She started straightening out the movies and video games stacked near the television/computer that was set into the wall. They did not really need rearranging, but there was too much time to just do nothing and not really enough time to do anything.

Holly turned to her side of the room. The only thing that was really out of place was the book she was currently reading. She scooped it off her bed and set it on her desk. As she turned away she saw the single poster she had brought which had originally been on her sister's door. Holly smiled and then started laughing as she remembered how it had gotten _there_.

She was still laughing when there was a knock at the door. She opened it and Rowan entered, smiling. "Are you going to tell me what is so funny, or is this an in joke?" he asked.

"I was just remembering the first time my mother left my sister and I at home alone. She was driving me crazy and I started chasing her through the house. When she hid in her room I punched a hole through her door."

Rowan's eyes widened, "Are you serious?"

"Yes, we covered it up with posters and Mom never found out."

"So is your sister older or younger than you?"

"Older, she was trying to be the boss."

"Here you are at the Academy and your mother still hasn't found out?"

Holly hesitated before answering, "Well, do you remember that radiation spill in the Atlantic a few months ago?"

Rowan immediately looked sorry he had asked. "Um I, well…"

"It's okay, you didn't know," Holly said. Of course it wasn't okay exactly, but she didn't know what else to say.

Rowan shook his head, "It seems humans will never learn. I know they don't know about us, but they do know they are killing other things. It's almost like they do it on purpose, which I suppose they would if they knew about us."

Holly shrugged, "Well, let's get started."

Rowan pulled something out of his pocket. Holly's eyes widened, she had not noticed that he brought anything, and video games aren't exactly easy to conceal. He laughed when he saw the look on her face. "I'm good at hiding things. My mother always said that I could walk out of a store with every item in it and no one would notice. Not that I would of course, I'm going into law enforcement, not law breaking."

Holly laughed then asked, "What branch of the LEP are you going into?"

"Recon, at least it's a chance to see the surface."

"That's what I'm going into!"

"Good luck!" he didn't say it with the "you're gonna need it" attitude Holly usually got. She could tell he was sincere and she appreciated that.

"Thanks! Why did you bring a video game anyway?"

"Sometimes it helps to make something fun, rather than a job. In this game you have to steer a LEP shuttle, and the joystick you use to play it is very similar to the controls in an actual shuttle. I thought if you could figure out the game it might not be such a stretch to the real thing."

"What about all the other controls?"

"Um…we'll get to that later. One step at a time."

Holly laughed, "I guess it's worth a try."

By the time Lilli got back from her date Holly was on level three, though not making any high scores. "I thought you were studying," Lilli sounded incredibly like a mother scolding her child.

Rowan spoke up before Holly could answer, "We were, we just needed a break. I guess we lost track of time. I should probably be going."

Holly spoke up before he could get out the door, "We never worked on your marksmanship."

"Oh, right. So…tomorrow then?"

"Sounds good to me."

"Great! Oh, and keep the game. So you can practice." Lilli looked as though she had something to say about that, but Rowan was out the door before she could get a word out.

Lilli scowled at her roommate. "Studying, right." Holly decided not to grace that with an answer.

Vinyaya scowled across her desk at the centaur whose front hooves seemed to be doing some sort of nervous tap dance. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, it was definitely tampered with. It's possible it was meant as some sort of prank." Foaly answered.

"A dangerous prank," Vinyaya responded, unamused.

"Well, yes," Foaly admitted.

"I want to know who was behind this. Prank or not they need to be dealt with."

Foaly nodded, "I'll check for fingerprints. Of course I'll have to assume that the technical team who service it are not responsible and…"

Vinyaya slammed the flat of her hand on her desk. She did not usually let her temper get the better of her, but she had no tolerance for anyone who would endanger her students and this centaur was trying what little patience she had left. "_Just do it! _The fact that they failed to notice the tampering makes them responsible, but I want to know who is putting my students at risk, and why."

"I should inform internal affairs," Foaly pointed out.

Vinyaya sighed, Ark Sool was not one of her favorite people. "If you must. Just make sure the press doesn't find out about this."

"Yes ma'em! Um sir, whatever." He turned and cantered out the door before Vinyaya could say another word.

**Well, that's all for this week. Now that Rowan Long has entered the picture those of you who may have read my first fanfic, The Hunter Hunted, probably know how this is going to end. Let me just point out that this does not mean there is no point in finishing it. I am adding a lot to it and the part that was a one-shot is probably going to be three or four chapters long.**

**Anyway, please review and tell me what you think of Rowan. The offer of fudge still stands!**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Sorry about the confusing transition in the last chapter, I guess I need to figure out how to do those lines. Also I have officially decided that I cannot trust grammar and spell check. I had put "riquochet" in the dictionary three times before it would believe it was a real word! I even looked it up in the book, and I had spelled it right the first time! OK so that was the only real problem I had other than the words unique to Gnomish, but it was really annoying. Anyway thanks again for the reviews and additions to favorites and alerts. I'm glad you're all enjoying this so much! **

**Disclaimer: OK so we all know I do not own Artemis Fowl which is painful to admit, but there is also a brief reference to Indiana Jones in this chapter which I also do not own. Not quite as painful but still… anyway here you go.**

**Chapter Three**

**Riquochet**

Holly met Rowan in the firing range. He smiled as soon as he saw her, "So did you bring a video game?" she could tell by his tone that he was teasing.

Holly smiled in return, "Well, I thought we could try the old-fashioned way first and see how that goes."

Rowan's smile turned into a mischievous grin, "The old-fashioned way, huh? I assume you are not referring to the way they do it in movies."

Holly waved a dismissive hand, "Don't be ridiculous, movies never get anything right. You should see how they butchered archaeology for Indiana Jones. Believe it or not my sister actually _likes_ those movies!"

"Aren't those human movies?"

Holly shrugged, "Fiona is an archeologist, so she spends a lot of time above ground. I think she's been to more human movies than fairy. You would think a real archaeologist would be annoyed at an adventure movie about archaeology, but I guess it's closer to the truth for fairies than humans. Still she's never had any adventures like Indy does."

Rowan gave her his mischievous grin again, "She probably has a crush on him."

Holly giggled, "I tease her about that all the time. I don't think she really does, though. He is human after all, that would just be weird."

"Well, so much for film accuracy," he sighed in mock disappointment.

Holly laughed and realized how much she seemed to do that around him. Her felt her cheeks begin to flush, and she quickly got to business before he could notice. "Alright, show me your stance." Rowan picked up a neutrino and did so. "Well that's your first problem right there!" Holly cried, exasperated.

"What?" Rowan asked, genuinely puzzled.

"Closing one eye when you aim only works in those inaccurate movies we were discussing a minute ago!" Rowan quickly opened his left eye. Holly spent the next five minutes correcting his position. "Okay, now try it." Rowan fired, the laser hit the target and riquocheted back, hitting him. He grunted and fell to the ground. Without thinking, Holly dropped to her knees beside him and pressed her palms to his chest. "Heal!" blue sparks danced around him and soon he was sitting up, but she kept a hand on his shoulder to make sure he was steady.

"Thanks," he gasped, "what was that?" he glared at the weapon laying on the floor as if it was responsible all on its own.

"I don't know, but we should take this to Vinyaya," Holly scooped up the gun and stood, then reached down with her free hand to help Rowan up. He took it and hauled himself to his feet.

"Is that a good idea? This is the second time equipment has acted up around you, what if she thinks it's your fault?" he asked, concern in his eyes.

Holly frowned, "She will if she finds out I tried to hide it from her. Things don't just mess up like this, someone has to be doing it on purpose. The question is who and why?"

Rowan nodded, "Let's go tell her then."

A few minutes later they were nervously approaching the Commander's office when a centaur came trotting out of it. He stopped when he saw them, glanced at the weapon they were bringing and put two and two together. "Another 'malfunction'," it wasn't a question. Holly and Rowan both nodded. " Well then I better go in with you, she'll want to talk to me about this and I have no desire to turn around and come back the moment I get to Police Plaza."

Holly and Rowan glanced at each other. There was only one centaur from Police Plaza that Vinyaya would want to see about a malfunction. They looked back at the one before them in disbelief. He was wearing an obviously homemade tinfoil hat and a t-shirt that said "Don't let you mind wander, it's not big enough to be out on its own." "I'm Foaly, by the way," he said before turning and heading back to the office.

"It can't be," Rowan muttered.

"There is no way that's the genius we have been hearing about since we got here," Holly agreed.

The centaur stuck his head out the door, "Are you two coming in or not?" he asked. They went in.

Vinyaya was sitting behind her desk, looking irritated. "Well, what happened this time?" she asked. Holly placed the gun on the desk and explained what had happened.

Vinyaya started to say something when Foaly picked up the weapon and began examining it. "Interesting, these aren't supposed to do that." He pointed it at a wall and fired before the other three could protest. "Oops!" he added as the laser began to riquochet. Rowan pushed Holly to the ground and pinned her there until it stopped. Vinyaya and Foaly had to make do with running and ducking, though, being pressed to the ground, Holly didn't get to see enough to laugh. Finally the laser ran out of energy and dissipated.

"That cowpog is supposed to be a _genius?_!" Holly spluttered as Rowan helped her to her feet.

"Apparently he lacks _common_ sense," Vinyaya snarled as she picked up her chair and situated it behind her desk.

"But, but it's not supposed to do that!" Foaly protested, sounding like a child making excuses to his mother. His tinfoil hat had fallen askew so that it covered one of his eyes, and Holly might have laughed if she had not been so angry. How under the earth could anyone be so stupid?

"Obviously someone rigged it to! Why would we have brought it in here if it was doing what it was supposed to?" Rowan growled at the centaur.

"No, no," Foaly said, attempting to shake his head and readjust his hat at the same time, "the only explanation is that someone replaced it with a wide-bore low-frequency blaster." The others in the room looked at him blankly. Foaly sighed at the ignorance around him, "You would call it a bouncer," he explained. "This one was on a low setting, so evidently our saboteur prefers scared to dead."

Vinyaya turned to Holly, "Short, do you know of anyone who might want you out of the Academy?"

Foaly jumped in before Holly could answer, "Short? You're the same one who crashed the flight simulator? You know it takes a lot of talent to crash something that's fixed in place!" everyone in the room stared at him, not sure how to react. "What did I say?"

Holly shook her head at the centaur and answered the commander's question. " I don't think so, not that would go that far at least."

Vinyaya looked thoughtful for a moment, then said, "Well you two might as well get back to your classes, or whatever it is that you're supposed to be doing right now, and let us handle this. You aren't LEP officers yet after all."

Holly started to protest, but Rowan laid a hand on her shoulder and spoke first, "Yes, sir. I actually have a class that I should be getting to now," he guided Holly out of the room before she could say anything that would get her into trouble.

As soon as the door was closed Vinyaya spoke to Foaly, "I want you to check out all of the weapons in the firing range. We can't risk more students getting hurt."

"I hope you don't expect me to get fingerprints off of them, too many people handle those things!" he left before she could say something about how incompetent he was.

"That's it," she muttered, reaching for her communicator, "I'm calling Julius!"

**I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it! Oh, and I figured out who the saboteur is! Guess what? (annoying sing-song voice) I'm not gonna tell you! Not yet anyway, you have to keep reading to find out, and I don't know how many more chapters there are until you do. Apparently the saboteur and I aren't on speaking terms at the moment.**

**Don't forget to review! Remember you get fudge if you do! I don't know what I'll do if you don't, but you probably don't want to find out.**

**Thanks and prayer,**

**RAHbooks**


	5. Chapter 5

**I am so sorry! Last time I accidentally posted chapter two again instead of chapter three. Well it's up now and so is this one. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: You should know by now that I am not Eoin Colfer, and therefore do not own Artemis Fowl. **

**Chapter Four**

**Boyfriends and Sisters**

"She's right you know. We should just let them handle it," Rowan told an ill-tempered Holly on their way back to the dorm rooms after their last class.

"I know, I just don't like letting someone else deal with my problems," she replied.

"It's not just you is it? Surely other people have been having problems with this sort of thing. Why else would Foaly have already been in Vinyaya's office?"

"I don't know. When I crashed the flight simulator it was all over the school by the end of the day, but I haven't heard of anything else - and my roommate is Lilli Frond!"

"Maybe they are trying to keep it quiet to stop the students from getting worried - or involved. We haven't graduated yet after all."

Holly was about to reply when a goblin shot down the hall on all fours knocking into her and nearly pushing her over. After she caught her balance she and Rowan just stood there for a minute trying to figure out what had just happened. "That was…random." Holly commented.

"The fact that a goblin is even in the LEP academy or that that goblin just ran by at super sonic speed?"

"Well I have seen her around here before, so I guess the latter. I haven't really talked to her, but she is in a lot of my classes."

Rowan nodded, taking in the information, "She must be late for a class or something."

It wasn't much longer before they were standing outside the door to Holly's dorm room. It was an awkward moment. A few days ago they had barely even spoken to each other, and now they were walking back to the dorms together without even thinking about it. Neither was quite sure what they should do, after all it wasn't like they were coming back from a date. Holly felt her cheeks redden and wished she had not cut her hair so short so that it could hide the fact. "Well I guess I'll see you tomorrow. Maybe we can actually get some target practice in," she said uncertainly.

"We can't forget about your flying, although Foaly seems to think you don't need any help with that," Rowan pointed out with that mischievous grin of his. Holly smiled, remembering the goofy centaur. Now that she had had a chance to calm down, she had to admit he had been nice. She could probably learn to like him-if he learned not to fire malfunctioning weapons. "I should go. Grub will probably demand that his brother take a squadron out her if I'm not back when usually am." Grub Kelp had made quite a reputation for himself at the academy, mostly because he was nothing like his brother Trouble, who had already made a name for himself in Retrieval.

Holly nodded, she doubted Lilli would notice if she was not back on time, but her sister would not be happy if she was not there to answer when she called. Rowan turned and started down the hall. Holly sighed when he was out of sight, whether from relief or disappointment she was not sure. She opened the door and stepped into the room, careful to close it behind her as Lilli would surely make a fuss if she left it ajar.

"Cutting it a bit close aren't you? She's going to call soon." Lilli commented as she carelessly flicked through the channels on the television.

"Is there anything good on?" Holly asked, knowing her roommate did not really expect an answer.

Lilli sighed melodramatically, "Not really, just some centaur yakking about his new invention and how much better it is than the Koboi version."

Holly set her workbooks down and turned to the blond elf. "Was this centaur wearing a tinfoil hat?" she asked.

Lilli turned from the television long enough to give Holly a quizzical look. "Yes," it came out sounding like a question.

Holly shrugged, she was pretty sure Vinyaya had kept Foaly busy after their run-in. "They must have pre-recorded the interview," she said simply. There was a beep from her desk before Lilli could think of what to say. Glad of the interruption, Holly sat at her desk and pressed the button on her communicator. The holographic image of her sister appeared immediately.

"Hello, Hollypop, how has your day been?" Fiona asked, smiling brightly as usual.

"Not so great, Fifi," Holly told her about the bouncer incident.

Fiona expression went from cheery to angry as Holly's story unfolded. "Sounds like sabotage to me. This is the second time this has happened around you!"

"Vinyaya thought it might be someone who wants to keep me out of Recon."

"Well whoever it is better hope that she finds them before I do. No one messes with my baby sister but me!" Fiona's green eyes shone fiercely as she spoke, and Holly had no doubt that she would track down the saboteur herself if she could. _Criminals had better be glad_ she's _not in the LEP, _Holly thought.

"Oh, for Frond's sake!" she ignored the glance she got from her roommate for that expression, "I wasn't even the one hurt, Rowan was."

Fiona brightened considerably, "Oh yes, tell me about this guy of yours."

Holly felt the heat rush to her face and wished she had thought of some other way to change the subject. "There's nothing to tell," she muttered, not meeting her sister's eyes but intently studying her desk.

"Come on, you obviously like him!"

"I don't even know him that well!"

"So? He came to your rescue when that idiot centaur fired that gun. That is just _so_ Prince Charming!"

"I don't need anyone to come to my rescue! I am not a damsel in distress. Why does everyone want to protect me all of a sudden? Just because our grandmother is -"

Fiona cut her sister off before she could divulge the family secret, "Whoa, calm down! Suddenly I'm glad that I'm thousands of miles away, I don't envy your _roommate,_" she emphasized the last word to remind Holly that this was not an entirely private discussion. A good thing, considering Lilli's well-deserved reputation as the academy's best source of gossip.

Holly took a deep breath and slowly let it out, "Sorry. What is it with sisters teasing about boys anyway?"

"It's mandatory. When I get a boyfriend you can tease me all you want. I'll object of course, but that's mandatory too."

Holly shook her head, "I doubt that you will ever find a boyfriend with as much time as you spend on the surface. Unless Trouble Kelp suddenly decides to take up archaeology."

"I wasn't the only one my class that had a crush on him! All the girls did. It's probably worse, now that he's actually in the LEP."

"Have you found anything?" Holly asked, more to change the subject than out of real interest, history was not her favorite subject.

"You do know that it can take up to ten years to remove a ten-centimeter layer of dirt, right?"

"You would think that with all our technology, someone could think of a faster way to do that."

"Faster? Going faster is what got a slice taken out of Troy! Not to mention the cities built on top of it or the cities it was built on top of. That guy almost totally destroyed his life's dream because he got impatient. Fast is sloppy. Although I guess I couldn't expect a Recon jock to get that," she smirked at the last bit.

"Do I look like a jock?"

"Well a minute ago you were saying that you aren't a damsel in distress."

"That doesn't mean I'm not a girl. Why does it have to be one extreme or the other?"

Fiona held up her hands in surrender, "Okay, I get it! I should probably go. Yesterday those Area 51 weirdoes almost picked up on my transmission. We don't want them coming out here thinking that there's an alien invasion!"

Holly nodded, understanding the seriousness of what her sister was saying, despite her joking manor. Near-detection by humans was one of the major drawbacks to fairy archaeology. "All right. I'll talk to you tomorrow then."

"Maybe then you can tell me more about your new boyfriend," she cut off the transmission before Holly could say another word.

**So, any guesses as to what the deep-dark family secret is? I'll give one hint, it has to do with a popular legend. **

**I have decide what happens to people who do not review. I will send my pet Dalek after you. I suggest you review, you do **_**not**_** want to meet a Dalek. If you review you get fudge, it not, EXTERMINATE! **

**Thanks and prayer,**

**RAHbooks**

**P.S. I will not really exterminate you.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry this chapter is a little late. Between Thanksgiving and writer's block it was kind of hard to write this one, but I think it came out OK. Oh and I finally figured out how to the line thing, so you don't have to worry about confusing transitions any more.**

**Disclaimer: You do know by now that I do not own Artemis Fowl right?**

**Chapter Five**

**Plotting and Scheming**

Commander Julius Root sat at his desk working out the best strategy for handling the mile-high pile of paperwork, at least he imagined it would be a mile high if it were actually on paper. As it was it was all neatly filed and stored on a data disk. Whey everyone insisted on calling it "paper work" when it was all done on computer now was beyond him, not that it made a difference, it was just as much work either way.

He was just about to settle down and actually do it when his communicator beeped. Relieved as he was to be interrupted, he let it go for a few minutes before answering so that he could pretend he was actually getting something accomplished. He put on his best Commander scowl, and pushed the button. "This had better be important. I have a lot of work to do!"

"Don't bother trying to scare me, Julius, you know it won't work. Besides I know how much enjoy being interrupted when you have nothing but paper work to do," Wing Commander Raine Vinyaya was quite possibly the only person who could take Root by surprise. Some would even go so far as to say she intimidated him - though never to his face of course. "We have a situation here at the academy," as usual Vinyaya wasted no time in getting to the point.

Root groaned, "Raine, you know this isn't my area, call Internal Affairs!"

"I did, Sool told me to stop wasting his time with accidents, apparently he's busy."

"You don't think they're accidents."

"No. Flight simulators do not randomly crash into walls, and Neutrinos do not suddenly start acting like bouncers. Not unless they have been tampered with."

"Sabotage."

"Exactly. Foaly was quite sure they had been tampered with, apparently Sool either does not believe him, or does not think a school is worth the trouble."

"Seems to me that would be the best place to start, the academy is the future after all."

"Not everyone has your sense of strategy, Julius. Speaking of which you still owe me a rematch on that chess game."

Root shifted uncomfortably and changed the subject, "This still doesn't concern me, you know. You are going to have to be a lot more convincing than that if you want to drag me out of my jurisdiction."

"Short."

"What?"

"That's the student I believe is being targeted. Although Long has been involved as well. Either way I seem to recall something about a particularly difficult retrieval mission involving a deacon and Area 51," only Vinyaya could have presented three such convincing points in less than a minute. The fact that she mentioned all three proved that the situation was serious.

Root's face reddened, a trait that had earned him the nickname "Beetroot". He wasn't supposed to know that his officers called him that, but they didn't know who had started it. He glanced back at his monitor and the unopened files of paperwork. They weren't going anywhere. "If I do this, we are even. No more blackmailing me with that Area 51 incident," he gave her his best scowl.

Vinyaya smiled, "Who said anything about blackmail? I am simply calling in an old favor, that's all."

"Old favor my -" Vinyaya shut off the communication just as Root's face got hot enough to fry eggs on.

Zarshalla ran on all fours down the hallway of the LEP Academy. She flicked her tongue up and licked her eyeballs, the wind of her speed was drying them out quickly. She saw Holly Short and Rowan Long coming towards her and deliberately knocked into Short. Stubborn elf! Why didn't she just leave? Lilli Frond was no competition, she would never make it into Recon if she graduated at all, but Short was a very real threat.

Why had she volunteered for this? It would have been much easier for a male to make it into Recon, but a female barely stood a chance, besides which no one trusted goblins, albeit with good reason. She had only made it into the academy because they were not allowed to discriminate. The fact that so far she had done nothing criminal (nothing she had been caught for anyway) was the only thing working in her favor. Her only chance was to eliminate the competition, but the competition was refusing to be eliminated!

Zarshalla ran out onto the streets, aware that she was drawing far too much attention. Reluctantly she slowed to a walk. She carefully made her way through the city and into the alleyways. Eventually she came to the least populated part of Haven.

She looked around nervously as she passed the cave entrance that was the reason for the lack of people. The fact that everyone was too afraid to live near an entrance to the Murderous Caves made places near them ideal for gangsters to hide out, but she wondered whether it was really worth the risk. Suddenly and eerie cry of, "Kill, kill, kill", came from somewhere beyond the yawning mouth of the cave. Normally, Zarshalla would simply have thrown a fireball at anyone who dared to attack her, but even trolls stayed away from the Creature of the Murderous Caves. If anyone had seen the beast they had not lived to tell about it. Hence the name.

Zarshalla dropped to all fours and ran, trying to put some distance between herself and the bloodthirsty creature before it decided to come out. She stopped, panting at the door of the shack that housed the Goblin Triune, the leaders of the B'wa Kell. After catching her breath she knock for times in a steady rhythm somewhat like a heartbeat. The door opened and she was ushered in to see the Triune.

"You have news for us?" General Scalene asked.

"Yes, but you won't like it," she told them about Short's stubborn refusal to leave the academy. "And now they have the centaur, Foaly, trying to figure out who's behind it," she finished.

The generals looked around as if each expected the other two to deal with it. Finally Scalene spoke up, "So, it seems we must take more decisive action. We will think of the best way to deal with Short. For now continue as you have been. Maybe she will give up after all."

Zarshalla nodded and left. As soon as the door closed behind her, she shuddered at the thought of having to pass that cave again. The cave, of course! There were some things not even Holly Short could face.

**The caves are from an idea by my sister, supposedly everyone who goes into them dies. There will be more with that later, I just needed to establish that they exist and give you the idea of what everyone thinks of them. Oh and I don't really know what happened with Root and Vinyaya in Area 51, the best I can figure is that she saved his life or something. I might do a story about that sometime, but I don't know yet. If you review you get to tell me whether you think I should or not. **

**Remember if you review you get fudge. If not EXTERIMINATE! Of course if you don't review I don't know who you are so I can't exterminate you can I? (Why did I just tell you that?)**

**Thanks and prayer,**

**RAHbooks**


	7. Chapter 7

**So, this chapter is up early. Hopefully that does not mean that the next one will be late. We get to learn more about the Murderous Caves, and maybe Holly's secret in that one. Still no ideas on what that secret is? All right, new hint. The legend is King Arthur, but I'm not sure it's a part of that legend that is very well known. I'm sort of obsessed. (With learning about the original legends more than the movies that are sometimes nothing like it, although I do enjoy those.) I guess it's cheating to use something that you might not know about, but it's really cool. At least I think so, which since I'm the author probably doesn't mean much. By the way the deacon in the last chapter was supposed to be a demon. Pretty funny typo if you think about it. Don't you just love it when authors give you these long boring notes and tell you a whole bunch of stuff you don't really want to know? What can I say, I'm a talker. Well I'm going to shut up and let you read now. Thanks for the reviews!**

**Disclaimer: Is it really necessary to do a disclaimer on every chapter? You already know that I don't own anything except my OC, and I'm running out of ideas to make them funny!**

**Chapter Five**

**Challenge**

Holly moved carefully through the line in the cafeteria, her claustrophobia made being surrounded by so many people hard to deal with. It didn't help that Lilli was right behind her, chattering away. Holly managed to ignore her right up until she grabbed her arm. "Oh gods! Is that _Commander Root_ sitting with Vinyaya?" she gasped.

Holly glanced in the direction Lilli was looking. It took her a moment to realize that her roommate was right. She had only seen Root once before and that had only been for a few minutes when he had come to tell her mother about her father's death. Needless to say that was not a memory she liked thinking about.

Whispers had spread through the cafeteria, and it wasn't hard to figure out what they were about. Holly felt sorry for the two commanders, there would be rumors all over the school before the next class.

Holly and Lilli threaded their way through the mass of students until they found an empty table. Lilli was already rambling about the possibilities of what Root coming to the academy could mean. Holly tuned her out, it really wasn't her business whether or not the commanders were dating, but she knew it would be pointless to try to stop Lilli's speculation. She suspected her roommate knew she wasn't listening, but was incapable of shutting up.

She didn't have to endure the gossip for long because Rowan and his roommate, Grub, soon approached their table. Rowan smiled brightly at Holly and asked, "So, are there a couple of shielded fairies sitting here, or is there room for two more?"

"No-I mean yes, there's room," Holly answered a bit nervously.

"Of course there's room, sit right down," Lilli was looking at Rowan as she motioned to the chair next to her.

"Thanks," Rowan smiled and sat next to Holly. Grub took the seat next to Lilli, to her horror.

"So, your Lilli Frond, right?" he asked hesitantly.

"Yes. And you are…?"

"Grub Kelp."

Lilli brightened up a bit, "As in Trouble Kelp?"

"Yep, he's my brother. Mommy says that if he can make it in the LEP, so can I."

Amazingly Lilli stopped talking. She concentrated on her food so she could ignore the embarrassing elf next to her.

Rowan turned to Holly, "Have you had any accidents today?"

"No, I think whoever was behind them gave up." She spoke too soon.

"I _hate_ working under cover," Root grumbled, his face the usual shade of red, as he sat at a table with Vinyaya.

"Technically you aren't working under cover. We are simply letting the students assume whatever they want," Vinyaya replied calmly.

"You do know what it is most of them are going to assume, don't you?" he asked, glaring at a blond elf who seemed especially excited to see them together.

"Of course I do. I would appreciate it if you stopped terrorizing my students."

Root looked away from the student and reached into his pocket for a fungus cigar. Vinyaya reached across the table and slapped his hand just as he was about to light it. "No smoking," she said firmly. He glared at her for a moment, wondering if the cigar was worth risking actual bodily harm. Looking at the stern female seated across from him, he decided it wasn't. He slid it back into his pocket.

"I don't see what the point of me being here is anyway," he muttered, sticking his fork into a bit of mandrake root.

"I'm hoping that whoever is behind these 'malfunctions' is less likely to cause trouble if they think that you are going to be around here more often." Root's fork paused halfway to his mouth. Was that really the reason, or was it an excuse? He studied his lunch partner closely as he continued eating.

Holly never was quite sure how it started, but suddenly food was flying all over the cafeteria. For some reason a good deal of it seemed to be heading towards her table, or maybe that was just because that was the area she could see most clearly. If you could call it clearly.

Grub squealed and dove under the table. "Wimp," Lilli muttered. Something hit her in the face and she shrieked. Holly couldn't help but laugh. She felt less guilty about it when she saw that Rowan was laughing too. "How did we get stuck with those two?" he managed to say.

"I don't know," Holly gasped, "but you have to admit they're good for a laugh!" Just then something struck the back of her head. She snatched something off her plate and threw it in the general direction the missile had come from. She doubted it would actually hit whoever had thrown what had hit her. Rowan was tossing food as well now. Lilli just stood where she was, trying to avoid getting hit. Obviously she was not very successful.

"That's enough!" Root bellowed, standing on a table to be sure he got their attention. Everyone froze and turned to look at him. His face was a brighter shade of red than most of them had ever seen. In all fairness this was probably due more to the fact that they had not graduated, and so had never annoyed him before than anything else. Something was stuck on his forehead and it slid down his face, landing on the table with a plop. Vinyaya covered her mouth with her hand to keep from laughing. Everyone else was too terrified to dare. "All of you clean this mess up now! And don't use your classes as an excuse to get out of it, no one leaves this room until it's spotless. Understood?"

"Yes, sir!" they chorused. Grub timidly crawled out from under the table. "Oh, good," he sighed, "cleaning."

Somehow Grub ended up in charge of the cleanup. He decided who was doing the scrubbing, sweeping, etc. Everyone else just went along with it. If they had each picked something at random it would have taken forever, Grub made sure things got done efficiently.

Holly was sweeping, along with Rowan and several others, which was fine-until the goblin tripped her. Rowan caught her arm and kept her from falling, but Zarshalla whirled around, a fireball forming around her fist.

"Whoa, calm down," Rowan said stepping between them.

"Watch where you go, elf," Zarshalla hissed at Holly, extinguishing the fire. Holly was fairly certain she did that more to avoid unwanted attention than anything else.

"Hey, you stepped in front of me," she objected.

"Liar, may you see all the horrors of the Murderous Caves!"

"That's a bit excessive," Rowan commented.

Holly rolled her eyes, "Don't tell me you two believe those old wives' tales!"

"I have heard the voice of the creature crying out for blood, that much I know is true," the goblin replied.

Holly muttered something that sounded suspiciously like "oh please", before saying so they could hear clearly, "And what about the other things? You know, the ghosts, witches and all that. If no one has ever gone in, how do you know they really exist?"

"Isn't one bloodthirsty monster bad enough?" Rowan muttered. Holly glared at him for no apparent reason.

"Why don't you go in and find out?" Zarshalla challenged Holly.

"How do you know I haven't already?" Holly shot back.

"Because you aren't insane!" Rowan pointed out.

"You would not last five minutes!" Zarshalla continued as if Rowan had not spoken.

"I could last an hour or more. Probably more," Holly said, confidently.

"I don't like the way this is going," protested Rowan tugging on her arm to try to get her away from the goblin.

"No classes tomorrow, why don't you prove it?"

"Fine, I will. Just don't expect me to come back with any exciting stories because there's nothing there."

"I take it back, you _are_ insane!"

"I shall watch you go in after breakfast. Do not return before lunch."

Holly considered a moment, "Don't be surprised if I don't come back until after lunch."

"I shall wait outside to be sure you do not simply step out again to visit family." Holly seemed to find that statement amusing for some reason, but she said nothing.

Rowan turned to her as soon a Zarshalla walked away, "You are going to get yourself killed!"

Holly just laughed, "Don't worry, Ro, I'll be fine, really. You'll see." She was so confident that he almost believed it. Almost. He knew as well as anyone that no one survived the Murderous Caves.

**I need to thank my sister real quick. I had a serious case of writer's block about this chapter and as usual she helped me unblock it. Even if I don't use something she suggests just talking to her is usually enough. **

**Well don't forget to review! (Dalek enters) "EXTERMINTE THE NON-REVEIWERS!" **

**Me: Not now! They can't review if they're exterminated you idiot!**

**Dalek: WHAT ABOUT THE ONES WHO DID NOT REVIEW THE LAST CHAPTER?**

**Me: Oh, them you can exterminate, they aren't likely to change their ways any time soon.**

**Dalek: THANK YOU. I LIKE EXTERMINATEING PEOPLE.**

**Me: Those of you who have not reviewed, I suggest you do so immediately**

**Thanks and prayer, **

**RAHbooks**

**PS: I do not own Daleks they belong to BBC.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Oh, D'Arvit! This is so late! Please don't exterminate me, I have an explanation. College finals were this week. I need to thank all of you who have reviewed. Yesterday I got so frustrated while I was trying to finish an assignment that I took a quick break and read the reviews you gave me. That cheered me up real quick! You guys are really supportive and encouraging, thanks! (Hands out large portions of fudge)**

**Chapter Seven **

**Forbidden Territory**

Holly and Rowan sat across from each other at a table in the cafeteria. They had managed to get away from their roommates in order to have a private talk about the dare Holly was insisting on going through with. This had been Rowan's idea, if couldn't talk Holly out of it then he was determined to at least help her survive it. After trying unsuccessfully trying the first option he went on to the second, "Maybe I should go with you," he suggested as if it were just an ordinary place she was going and not the Murderous Caves.

Holly frowned at him, "What?"

"I just thought you would stand a better chance with some help," he explained.

The frown turned into a full-force glare. "No," she said firmly.

"Look, this has nothing to do with you being a girl," not quite true, but saying that was easier than explaining that it was not for the reasons she would assume, especially with the timing, "I know you can take care of yourself, I just want to help, you know watch your back. She never said you had to go in alone."

Holly sighed and let up on the glare, "It's not that, and it's not you either. It's…well if I could tell you there would be no reason for you not to come."

"So this has to do with some kind of secret?"

She nodded then thought for a moment, "I guess it doesn't have to be. We wouldn't have to go that far in."

"Does that mean I can come along?"

"Yes, if I ever decide to tell you this secret it might actually be easier if you already know something about the caves."

Rowan just looked at her for a moment, "You _have_ already been in there, haven't you?" Holly just smiled, eyes sparkling with mischief.

Zarshalla led the way to the entrance of the Murderous Caves. She had said nothing when she saw Rowan,and the three walked in silence.

When they were in the alleyways away from the busy streets Rowan probed his companions with his fairy empathy. He was surprised at how open Holly was. Most fairies kept themselves closed off except to their closest friends and family to avoid being overwhelmed by the force of so many emotions around them. Usually letting someone in happened gradually as they became close. Once the magic was used to allowing someone access it was extremely difficult to keep them out, even with a conscious effort. It was unusual to be able to easily read someone they had barely known for a week.

Holly was confident, even cheerful as they approached the cave. It was as if she were actually looking forward to this. Why anyone would look forward to entering such a dangerous place was beyond Rowan, but as they got closer Holly seemed excited by the idea.

Zarshalla was harder to read, but Rowan could sense that she was getting more frightened as they neared their destination. The closer they got, the less he needed empathy to tell him that.

They stopped at the entrance. "Kill, kill, kill!" the voice reached out of the murderous caves as if the creature meant them specifically. Rowan stiffened and Zarshalla backed away, but Holly only smiled fondly and shook her head as if at a child describing something that could never happen in reality.

Holly started towards the entrance, then turned to look back at Rowan. "Well, are you coming or not?" Rowan hesitated, this was his last chance to back out. Holly obviously wasn't going to. He couldn't just let her do this alone - even if it was stupid. He followed her.

The moment they disappeared into the caves Zarshalla ran to the Triune's shack to tell them that Holly Short's stubborn nature had been her own downfall.

The first thing Rowan noticed about the inside of the Murderous Caves was the dark. The second was the damp. He could hear water running in an underground stream, but he couldn't tell how close it was or in what direction as sound travelled differently in the caves. He could still hear the creature calling "Kill, kill, kill!" accompanied by a wet slapping sound and he shuddered.

"Well that's enough of that," Holly said and snapped her fingers. Rowan saw a single blue spark in the darkness before they were surrounded by light blazing from torches set into the limestone wall of the tunnel.

"How did you do that?"

"Magic, obviously. Only people who are known to be friends of the caves can do it, so don't get lost. Come on, you might as well meet Caleb while you're here."

"Who's Caleb?"

"If I answer that you'll be too scared to come! Just follow me and don't touch anything that would impress a dwarf."

Rowan followed her in thoughtful silence until something caught his eye. "Is that a way out?" he started towards what seemed to be an opening to the surface. How was that possible? They hadn't walked nearly far enough.

"Rowan, no! Not that way!" Holly shouted and grabbed his arm. When he turned to face her he could see real fear in her eyes. Fairy empathy was pretty irrelevant in this case, but he could feel her terror as well.

"What is it?" he asked.

Holly turned to avoid meeting his eyes, but still held on to his arm. "Things are tricky in here, you can't always trust what you see. Just because not all the legends are true doesn't mean there aren't dangers. This was part of why I didn't want to bring you. You don't know the rules, one mistake could get you killed! Please, just stay with me."

Rowan glance back at the inviting sunlight, not as good as moonlight, but still better than the artificial lighting in Haven. He sighed and turned back to Holly, "All right, who is it you wanted me to meet?"

Holly sighed in relief and turned to meet his eyes again, "I don't think he's much farther." Once again the cry of "Kill, kill, kill!" sounded through the caves along with the slapping sound. Holly smiled, "In fact I think he's just around the corner!"

"Wait, what?" Rowan started to ask, but Holly, still holding his arm, was already dragging him in the direction the sounds were coming from.

She stopped when they came to the stream Rowan had heard earlier. For a moment he thought they had left the caves. Grass, flowers, bushes, and even trees grew around the stream, which he could now see was actually a river. Noticing that the light had changed, he looked up and saw that there was a large opening in the top of the cave which let in sunlight.

Upstream from them someone or something was bent forward near the river raising an arm and then bringing it down on something. Rowan couldn't see what it had clutched in its fist, but he imagined it was a weapon of some sort. Each time it made contact with whatever it was striking there was a slapping sound and the creature shouted "kill". It was the creature of the caves!

Before Rowan could react, Holly released her grip on his arm at last and placed her hands on her hips, the picture of a stern mother about to scold a child. "Caleb, stop that this instant! You're scaring the locals!"

The creature turned towards them and grinned, "Shor'y!" it cried and ran towards them. Rowan jumped out of the way, but Holly stepped towards it and disappeared in its arms.

For a moment Rowan was too terrified to move. Suddenly he leapt forward and pounded his small fists against the creature's comparatively massive arms, "Let her go!" The creature released Holly and stepped back looking confused, then began to wail loudly as if it had been fatally injured.

"Rowan, stop it!" Holly sounded furious. Rowan froze and stared at her. "He was just hugging me for crying out loud! He doesn't always know when to stop, and I'm sure he's broken ribs, but he doesn't mean any harm." She turned to the creature, which was still crying. "Oh stop it, you aren't hurt! He just made a mistake." The creature sniffed a bit, but stopped.

Rowan looked from Holly to the creature, who's lower lip was hanging down to its chin. "But, what was it killing?"

"It was just a fish! I don't know what idiot taught him the word 'kill' by beating a fish on a rock, but he's been doing that ever since."

" 'oo 'im?" the creature asked, jabbing a finger towards Rowan. Obviously it didn't have the best vocabulary, no wonder someone had taken it on themselves to try to teach it something!

"What did it - he say?" Rowan asked Holly.

"He wants to know who you are. Rowan, this is Caleb. Caleb, this is Rowan Long. He may be an idiot, but he's a friend." Rowan wasn't sure he wanted to know which of them she was calling an idiot. Caleb seemed to be perpetually bent over, though he was obviously bigger than the fairies, about the size of a human, and his skin was rock gray. All he wore were pants.

Caleb picked up one of the fish he had killed, and held it towards Holly, " 'ook?"

"You know I can't cook!"

"Ma!"

"No, not now. I don't even know how much trouble I would be in for bringing him along!"

Caleb wasn't taking "no" for an answer. He stood to his full height of six feet, grabbed Holly and tucked her under his arm, then gathered his pile of fish in the other and took off down the tunnel. All Rowan could do was either wait and hope they came back, or follow them. He followed them.

**Obviously the secret of who Holly's grandmother is did not come into this chapter, that is going to have to wait until the next one. So, here's one last hint, just to see if anyone can guess. She was an enemy of Merlin, but her sister helped Arthur. I will be referencing the legends tying them in with the story and explaining anything that doesn't seem to fit. **

**Sorry about Caleb's vocabulary (or lack thereof), as I said before the Murderous Caves were my sister's idea and she also came up with Caleb's character. I had to check everything with her to be sure it was true to her vision of the caves, and she would not have been happy if Caleb actually talked like an intelligent adult. Besides I kind of like him childlike, it's just funny to think that's what has been scaring people! **

**Since those reviews helped me so much yesterday, I am not going to threaten you with Daleks if you do not review this chapter. The Daleks will be back in the next chapter, however, so I suggest you review anyway.**

**Thanks and prayer, **

**RAHbooks**


	9. Chapter 9

**Sorry about the sort of late update, our internet went down this weekend. I'm not sure when the next update will be with Christmas coming and all, but I will try to get it done soon.**

**Chapter Eight**

**Meet the Relatives**

Without the training he had already had Rowan would never have been able to keep up with them. For someone who seemed incapable of standing up straight Caleb could move incredibly fast. Holly was protesting every step of the way. "Put me down ,Caleb, I am not a Barbie doll!"

Rowan found it hard to believe that Holly would put up with this creature, harmless as he may be. As he followed them around a corner another thought occurred to him. _I hope Holly knows where we are. There is no way I'm going to find the way back on my own._

Finally Caleb stopped in front of what seemed to be a door and set Holly on her feet. She crossed her arms and glared at him. "Kno, kno," he called.

"Caleb, is that you?" a feminine voice asked from the other side of the door.

"oo else?" the creature replied.

The door opened to reveal an elderly elf who bore a remarkable resemblance to Holly. She had the same willowy figure and hazel eyes, though her hair had gone gray. She sighed, placing her hands on her hips, much as Holly had less than an hour before. "I suppose you want me to cook for you." Caleb nodded enthusiastically and waved one of the fish in her face. "All right I get the point!" she held up an arm to ward off splatters from the dead fish. As she turned her face she caught sight of Holly. "Holly dear! We weren't expecting you."

"I didn't mean to come, Caleb kidnapped me!"

"Try not to make a habit of that."

"What? Getting kidnapped? Honestly, Grandma I'm in training for Recon. Once I graduate mister nightmare creature over here won't stand a chance!"

"Well you might as well come in. I just put some tea on."

"Why is it that every time I come you're making tea?"

"Good timing?"

"Yours or mine?"

The old elf shrugged and moved aside to let Holly and Caleb pass. As she turned to close the door she saw Rowan who was standing in the tunnel, unsure of what to do. She frowned slightly, "Holly did you bring someone with you?" she asked over her shoulder. She spoke in that tone of voice that adults use when asking children if they have done something they shouldn't have when they are already convinced they did.

"Oh, D'Arvit! It must be Rowan. I didn't bring him, I just couldn't get rid of him!"

"Watch your language!" came a voice from somewhere out of sight.

"Sorry, Aunt V," Holly called back with a tone that indicated she wasn't really.

"Watch your tone!" the same voice scolded. Holly didn't bother to answer again.

The elf in the doorway sighed and turned back to Rowan. "I suppose I should let you in. otherwise you are probably just going to wander around and get yourself eaten."

"Thank you ,ma'em," he muttered and timidly slipped past her. There was something about the old elf that made it clear she was in charge and no one who knew what was good for them would argue otherwise.

Rowan was surprised at what he found on the other side of the door. It was more or less a den. Not the kind of den you would expect to find animals in, but the kind of den that would be in a house. Two rocking chairs, a sofa, and a love seat were a arranged around the room so that no matter which you sat in you could easily see whoever was sitting in the others.

Holly stood in the middle of the room looking as if she was trying to decide whether or not to be angry with him. She seemed to decide not to be, at least she didn't punch him or yell at him right away. That could have been out of respect for the hostess. She would probably kill him somewhere between here and returning to the academy.

"Vivian, get in here! We have another guest!" The old elf called.

"Hang on a minute! I'm getting Caleb's fish started, you know how he is," the voice that had scolded Holly replied from what Rowan assumed was the kitchen. "By the way, have you seen Excalibur?"

"Watching Excalibur is your job. Besides why in the world do you need it now? It's not like the heir to the line of Pendragon just walked in."

The voice replied as if it were obvious, "I'm chopping vegetables!"

Rowan turned to Holly, "She doesn't really mean _Excalibur_ does she? I mean you don't just use a magical sword to chop vegetables!"

Holly shrugged, "What else is she going to do with it?" this answer made Rowan think she was in on the joke. If it was a joke.

A few minutes later another elderly elf entered the room closely followed by Caleb. She was incredibly graceful, like water. Her hair was snow white and flowed past her shoulders in waves. Her eyes were the clear blue of a lake seen from a distance.

Holly crossed her arms and looked from one to the other, "How properly are we doing this?"

The elf who resembled Holly rolled her eyes, "Honestly we're in our living room not the royal court!"

"Well I didn't know how much you wanted to impress him."

"Hurry up and introduce us to your boyfriend already!" the elf with blue eyes demaneded.

"He is not my boyfriend!"

"Well if you had told me that already I wouldn't have had to assume."

Holly groaned, "Alright already, I get it!" she paused a moment to compose herself. "Grandma, Aunt V, this is Rowan Long my _friend_ from the academy. Ro, this is my Great Aunt Vivian the Lady of the Lake, and my Grandmother Mab the last Queen of the People."

**For those of you who don't know much about the Arthurian Legends there will be a crash course in the next chapter. It will be from the fairies point of view however, so if you really want to learn more about it you should look it up at the library. (internet articles about it are short and don't give much information.)**

**They're ba-ack! (Yes I mean the Daleks).**

**Dalek: REVIEW OR BE EXTERMINATED!**

**Me: He means it!**

**Caleb: (slaps fish on rock) Kill, kill, kill!**

**Dalek: EXTERMINATE! (zaps Caleb)**

**Me: Hey, you're not supposed to exterminate Caleb! He's in the story, he doesn't have to review it!**

**Dalek: OOPS **

**By the way you still get fudge for reviewing. Merry CHRISTmas!**

**Thanks and prayer,**

**RAHbooks.**


	10. Chapter 10

**D'Arvit! This is so late! Well I made up for it with an extra long chapter. Exactly 2,200 words long, not counting the author's notes (I checked before I added them. I swear I didn't do that on purpose!). Just a quick warning, the reason it is so long is because I rewrote the Arthurian Legends. I tried to confine what I changed to the parts that are a bit hazy on detail anyway, but I did make Mordred the good guy, which I think he is anyway and I can be very aggressive when defending that viewpoint. At least in this I have the excuse of telling it from the fairies point of view. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl, or the Arthurian Legends or the Murderous Caves. Artemis belongs to Eoin Colfer, I don't think anyone owns Arthur anymore, and the Murderous Caves belong to my sister. Rowan on the other hand is entirely mine to do with as I please, as is the plot.**

**Rowan: Ha! That's what you think.**

**Chapter Nine**

**History Lesson**

Rowan just stared at the three females in front of him for a moment. The silence was broken by Caleb who burst out laughing. "Fuy ace!" he cried pointing at Rowan.

Rowan pulled himself together. "Wait a minute! Lady Vivian and Queen Mab? Is that even possible? Camelot was a long time ago, even by our standards!"

Mab looked at Holly, "You just _had_ to tell him didn't you?"

"He was just being such a - such a guy!"

Vivian rolled her eyes in a very Holly-like manner. "Maybe that's because he is a guy," she muttered.

"I don't need protection, least of all in the caves!" Holly protested.

"So why did you bring him?" Mab asked reasonably.

"Because he wouldn't leave me alone! I wasn't' going to bring him here, but Caleb had other ideas." Holly threw the strange creature a withering glare.

"Is anyone going to answer my question?" Rowan asked before the conversation could turn into an all-out argument, "How is it possible for you two to still be alive?"

Mab shrugged, "It has something to do with living in the caves. Everyone here lives longer than usual. I don't think anyone knows how old Caleb is. He may have the mind of a toddler, but as far as anyone knows he's the oldest thing here. Perhaps he's senile"

Rowan glanced at Caleb in surprise and realized that it was impossible to tell how old the creature was by looking at him. "Alright, but the legends say you were killed before all the fairies made it underground." His focus was on the two older elves, so he barely noticed Holly dragging a finger across her throat in warning. "I think Mordred had something to do with it," he muttered, more trying to remember what he had learned in school than asking what had happened. Holly slapped her forehead and muttered something that sounded suspiciously like "cowpog" in the half-second before Vivian exploded.

"Those legends got it all wrong! Humans and fairies both!" the Lady of the Lake said hotly.

"Calm down, V, it's not the boy's fault. We knew they would get it wrong when we went into hiding," Mab said, patting her sister on the shoulder.

"I never thought they would get it _that_ wrong! How could they get it that wrong?" Rowan could hear the tears she was holding back as she spoke.

"_I_ know better," Holly said softly.

Vivian half-smiled at her great niece. "Yes, but that's because you learned from us. I'm going to check on Caleb's fish." She disappeared into the kitchen, Caleb trailing behind her.

Mab sighed once they were gone and turned back to Rowan. "You'll have to excuse her. It's a sensitive subject, even more so for her. Sit down and let me explain."

Rowan sat on one end of the sofa. Holly sat as far on the other end as she could possibly get. Mab took one of the rocking chairs. "I assume you know the basics of what happened."

Rowan nodded, "King Arthur founded the Knights of the Round Table who were supposed to be a might for right. The knights included his foster brother Kaye, Lancelot, Percival, Gawain, Gareth, and Gaheris."

"Mordred," Holly spoke up when Rowan finished his list, "Mordred was a knight too. And Agravaine. Why does everyone forget Agravaine?"

Mab shrugged then continued, "Gawain, Gareth, Gaheris, and Agravaine were Mordred's half brothers. Mordred was the youngest."

Rowan nodded his understanding, "He was Arthur's illegitimate son, wasn't he?"

"Yes, from Arthur's half sister, Morgause."

"I thought that was Morgan le Fey," Rowan pointed out.

"Morgan was Arthur's other half sister, Morgause's sister. She was the one who wanted Arthur brought down, because she believed she had the stronger claim to the throne. For some reason in most of the movies, both fairy and human, they combine their two roles and stick them with Morgan's name. I think they would both be quite annoyed at that." Mab explained.

Holly spoke up again, "I'm noticing a pattern in these family relations. Half this, illegitimate that. For a time when that was so frowned on it sure happened a lot. And Mordred was Arthur's son with his _sister!_ That's just wrong!"

"Well in his defense, Arthur didn't know they were related. He was raised by a different family." Mab pointed out.

"Maybe, but he did know they were not married." Holly protested.

Mab raised her hands in surrender, "I am trying to be objective and relate the facts. Not get into an ethical debate."

"Wrong is wrong," Holly said firmly.

Rowan laughed, "I feel sorry for anyone who crosses you!" he turned back to Mab. "So things started to fall apart when Guinevere cheated on Arthur with Lancelot, right?"

Mab nodded, "And that's when things get confusing, not so much with what happened as with how people see it. Whenever a knight spoke against them, Arthur allowed Lancelot to challenge him. Of course Lancelot always won, and the accusing knight would be banished. Mordred did not like the fact that men were being banished for telling the truth, but the only way to stop it was to expose Lancelot and Guinevere beyond a doubt which he did by catching them…in the act. I do not know whether he would have left them alone if it had not been for the banishing. As Holly said, wrong is wrong and Mordred was every bit as stubborn as she is. Perhaps a bit more so." Holly snorted as if she found this last statement highly unlikely, and Mab smiled in amusement at her granddaughter before continuing. "What I do know for sure is that he never intended to bring Arthur down. He was simply trying to do what he believed was right."

"So is that what led to the civil war between them? Arthur felt like Mordred was challenging him?" Rowan asked, now truly interested.

Mab hesitated, "Well, no. Lancelot rescued Guinevere when she was going to be executed for treason, and took her to his castle, Joyous Guard."

"Wait a minute, how was that treason? I know she betrayed the king, but it was personal. It's not like she was spying or anything," Holly interrupted.

"At the trial the people decided that because she was married to the king her adultery counted as treason. Arthur didn't interfere because of his personal involvement, he wouldn't have been able to decide fairly. As for Mordred, I think he honestly didn't expect it to be seen that way.

"Anyway, Arthur laid siege to Joyous Guard and eventually Lancelot surrendered, returned, Guinevere to Camelot on the condition that she would not be harmed, and went home to France."

"Sounds like a happy ending. Except that I'm pretty sure Camelot didn't have a happy ending," Rowan pointed out.

"If Arthur had left it at that, it would have been a happy ending. Apparently stubbornness was a Pendragon family trait. Arthur followed Lancelot with an army. I'm not sure if Mordred went with him then, or if he followed later. Humans were both aware and afraid of us at the time so I had my hands full trying to keep the People from going extinct. I was in France for that reason when…" she glanced at Holly who took up the narrative without missing a beat.

"She was captured. By Arthur. He nearly killed her, you know what human weapons were made of back then." Rowan nodded, he knew. Iron. That was one of the few things humans had gotten right in there stories. Iron destroys magic, so naturally it harms any fairy who comes in contact with it. "Well Aunt V was able to get away and she told Mordred. He got there in time, obviously, but while some of the humans sided with him and helped him to rescue her, some called him a traitor. That's how the war between them got started. What I don't understand is why Lancelot didn't just stay out of it. Mordred was the reason he had to leave Camelot I know, but Arthur had been attacking him _after_ he surrendered. Seems to me he should have just let them go at it on their own. Anyway you know the rest. Nobody won, Arthur was killed. Some people say Mordred was too, but according to Aunt V he actually just let everyone think that and moved to Ireland."

"So why do all the stories say that the Lady of the Lake took Arthur to Avalon and healed him? You know so could supposedly return in England's greatest hour of need, The Once and Future King and all that?" Rowan wondered.

"I tried to read that book once. I barely got halfway through the Sword and the Stone before I had to give up. T. H. White was a complete moron. He didn't even get it right by the human versions of the legends! I will never understand why that is such a classic." Mab paused a moment after her rant before actually answering Rowan's question. "It was Mordred that Vivian healed. I don't know where the notion that she would have healed Arthur came from, and she certainly didn't have enough magic for both if she had wanted to. I didn't have enough left in me to cure a wart between the iron and…" she looked at Holly and cut herself off.

Rowan decided not to ask. If it were any of his business she wouldn't have stopped. But he did have a few more questions. "What about Excalibur? Why did Vivian give it to Arthur?"

"She was hoping that she could convince him that we would make better allies than enemies. Obviously it didn't work," Mab replied.

"Then why did Mordred…" Rowan cut himself off as he remembered what had started the conversation. "oh," he said flatly.

Holly nodded then commented, "That's just gross."

Mab laughed softly at their reactions, "They didn't actually do anything. Mordred was too aware of how hard life could be for an illegitimate child to risk it. Especially for one that would be half human, half fairy. Also I think they were both aware that it couldn't possibly end well."

"So what happened to him after he moved to Ireland?" Rowan asked.

"He met a nice girl and had more kids than I could count. I think Vivian preferred that to him living alone forever." Mab replied cheerfully.

"So why didn't she ever move on?" Holly asked as if the thought had never occurred to her before.

"I think she would have, but everyone knew about her feelings for Mordred, you know how rumors are. Also after giving Excalibur to a human no one trusted her, so she came to live here. Caleb hadn't learned his trick with the fish yet at that time so, while the caves weren't exactly a popular vacation spot they weren't feared the way they are today either. The perfect place to hide. I joined her after El Dorado, which was the last city where human's and fairies lived together, was destroyed by the Conquistadors. Everyone blamed me for trusting humans too much. As if I was the only one living there! Of course it wasn't really made of gold, we just called it that because it was the only place humans knew about us anymore." Mab waited a moment too see if there were any more questions and seemed disappointed that there weren't. "I'm going to go check the tea, that penny should be dropping any moment now." She stood and went into the kitchen.

"What was that supposed to mean?" Rowan muttered.

Holly just looked at him for a moment. "You can be really stupid sometimes, you know that?"

Rowan decided not to ask what she meant. Another question finally occurred to him, he should have thought about it before really. "I wonder how Vivian got away, but Mab didn't," he muttered, not really expecting an answer.

Holly answered anyway, "Grandma couldn't get away because she was pregnant at the time."

"She was pregnant! I wouldn't have thought that even humans could…"

"With my mother."

That penny the former queen had mentioned finally dropped. "Wait a minute. That would make you.."

"Took you long enough," Holly muttered.

Rowan gave her the mischievous grin he knew she liked. "Princess Holly," he teased.

"Don't, just don't. It's not like it matters anymore and even if it did, Fiona is older, so she's the one who would have to worry about it." Holly protested.

"At least now I have something to blackmail you with," he was teasing and she knew it. He could tell by the way her eyes sparkled as she replied.

"You do know I could easily have Lilli dig up some dirt on you right?"

Rowan chuckled, "Point taken, no blackmail." They had been inching closer during the exchange and now his hand rested on top of hers. He started to lean towards her. She wasn't turning away.

Unfortunately that was when Mab decided to lead Vivian and Caleb back in with the tea and fish while making as much noise as three people possibly could. Which with Caleb involved was quite a lot.

**I may have spelled some of the names from the legends wrong. Spell check didn't like them much.**

**Due to the incident in the last chapter, Artemis is making some adjustments to my Dalek (He refused to work over the holidays). The oven, however, is working just fine, which means that fudge is still available to all who review.**

**Thanks and prayer,**

**RAHbooks **

**P.S. I added three words when I read over it so it is no longer an exact number. Blame Caleb, he's the one who's senile. **


	11. Chapter 11

**Sorry about the wait (again). I've had more homework this quarter, and I wasn't sure about this chapter. This one is basically transitioning from what happens in the caves to what happens after. I didn't think I could just skip to them being at the academy, but I couldn't think of much to happen. Hopefully it's not too bad.**

**A special thanks goes to Dragonfly999 for her encouragement and advice on this chapter. It really did help! **

**Me: My sister owns the caves, Eoin Colfer owns Artemis Fowl and all recognizable characters, I own Rowan, Fiona and Zarshalla.**

**Zarshalla: (forming a fireball) No one owns me, human!**

**Me: Um…yeah, you guys heard her.**

**Chapter Ten**

**Heading Home**

"She did that on purpose," Rowan muttered as he and Holly walked back through the tunnels.

"Of course she did," Holly nearly laughed as she remembered the look on Rowan's face when the others had reentered the room. She was pretty sure he had been about to kiss her and she was annoyed at her relatives for interrupting. It would probably take him ages to get up the nerve to try again. "Do you think we have been gone long enough? I always lose track of time in here," she wondered.

Rowan shrugged, "Who cares? You proved your point, those stories seem pretty silly now."

"Well, like I said, there are dangers here. You shouldn't come in on your own, I'm not sure how many of the rules I'm allowed to tell you. I probably don't know all of them anyway."

"Alright, Princess,"

Holly groaned, "I do hope your are not going to make a habit of that."

Rowan gave her that mischievous grin, "Who says I have to tell anyone why I call you that?" Holly would have continued to argue the point, but she started to wonder what other reasons he could have to call her "princess."

Eventually they came to the area with the stream and the forest where they had met Caleb. The light was streaming in from directly overhead now, though the branches of the tress provided enough shade to keep the elves cool. The light filtering through the leaves cast a green glow over the area. It looked like a magical forest in a fairy tale, a human might have expected their classic image of fairies to appear, or one disguised as an old woman to ask for a crust of bread. Why a fairy would do such a thing just for the sake of either rewarding or punishing a human Holly had never understood. They didn't speak as they passed through the area, it seemed to demand silence. It wasn't long before they were through it.

Holly kept a firm hold on Rowan's arm as they passed the deceptive surface exit. She was afraid he would try for it again. He didn't, thank Frond, but Holly didn't relax until it was well behind them.

Finally they came to the entrance they had used. They paused when they could see it, but before they could see out of it. Holly looked at Rowan, "Ready?" she asked. He nodded. She snapped her fingers and the torches instantly went out, just as if a strong wind had blown through the tunnel, though the air was still. They stepped out and were met by a shocked Zarshalla.

"You lived! " she hissed.

"What did I tell you? Piece of cake," Holly said smugly.

"But no one survives the Murderous Caves!"

"Obviously we did," Rowan pointed out.

Zarshalla looked around and licked her eyeballs nervously, as if she expected the horrors of the caves to leap out and attack her.

"On the bright side you don't owe me anything. It was a dare, not a bet," Holly said cheerfully.

"Not possible!" the goblin hissed and ran away on all fours.

"Sore loser," Holly muttered.

"Aren't all goblins?"

"Good point." With that they started the walk back to academy having one of those conversations that people enjoy while they have them, but can never remember afterwards.

Holly got into her dorm room just as the communicator beeped. Rowan stood uncertainly in the doorway as she answered it.

As usual Fiona's image appeared.

"Hey, Fifi," Holly said a bit more cheerfully than usual.

"Hello, Hollypop. How…" Fiona started to answer. Then she saw Rowan. "Oo, hello, what's your name?"

Holly turned to see Rowan looking ready to bolt. "Fiona! That's Rowan, the guy who's been helping me with my flying."

"Well you didn't tell me he was that adorable!"

"I'll just go," Rowan muttered and slipped out the door.

Holly turned her attention back to her embarrassing sister. "You are so lucky you are on the surface right now!"

"Well excuse me for thinking your boyfriend's hot!"

"He is not my boyfriend."

"Okay, if you won't take him I will."

"No you won't!"

"Oh, so he is yours!"

"No, he isn't. Why does it matter so much anyway?"

"Because I don't see you devoting your whole life to the job. You seem more like the type that would go for the impossible romance."

Holly rolled her eyes, "Seeing as that turned out _so_ well for Aunt V."

Fiona tilted her head to one side as if to study her sister, "No, you wouldn't give up so easily. You would do whatever it took, even if it got you exiled."

"How is dating a guy going to the same academy as me going to get me exiled?"

"Ha! You just admitted you're dating!"

Holly groaned, this could go on for hours.

"How did she do?" Grub asked when Rowan came into their dorm room. The room was surprisingly neat, considering two single guys lived in it. This was the result of the fact that one of them was Grub. Rowan had long since decided that it was better to put his things where they belonged himself, otherwise Grub would and he would never be able to find anything. He often accused Grub of being obsessive-compulsive, which the other elf always denied.

Rowan's response to Grub's question was a classic, "Huh?"

"You said you were helping Holly with her flight skills."

"Oh, right. She did fine."

"That's not what you were doing," Grub stated bluntly. Rowan just stood there wondering if "guilty" was plastered across his face. He was going to have to work on that. "You know, just because I can't get a girlfriend doesn't mean you can't talk about yours."

"She's not my girlfriend!" Rowan blurted too quickly.

"But you do like her," it wasn't a question. Rowan sat on his bed without a word. Was it really that obvious? "Yes," Grub said simply.

Rowan blinked at his roommate in surprise. He had no doubts about what question Grub was answering. "Are you telepathic?"

"Of course not. It just seemed like you were wondering if it's really that obvious that you like Holly and it is."

Rowan stretched out on his bed and stared at the rock ceiling, making patterns from the cracks. So he liked Holly. So what? There was nothing wrong with liking a member of his own species. As long as she didn't get in his way.

**Thanks for reading! Remember if you review you get fudge, if not Artemis has finished repairing my Dalek.**

**Dalek: (shooting random air molecules) EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!**

**Me: (ducking) Artemis Fowl the Second! I thought you said you fixed it, not made it worse!**

**Artemis: It is alien technology, even I had a hard time figuring it out so I got Foaly to help me. Blame him.**

**Foaly: What! You know it's not so easy considering there's actually a living creature in there!**

**Me: Oh, is that what the problem is?**

**Artemis and Foaly: You didn't know that?**

**Me: Um…no?**

**Artemis: That is it! Maybe I can get some intelligent conversation from Davros.**

**Me: But he's evil!**

**Artemis: Oh well.**

**Thanks and prayer,**

**RAHbooks**


	12. Chapter 12

**No, I'm not dead. Sorry it's taken me so long to update. I won't bother with the explanation, basically it's just a lot of little things some are good excuses, some not so good. Anyway, hopefully this chapter will be worth the wait.**

**I am posting the prologue of **_**Guezirod: Sons of the Griffers**_** under the **_**Inheritance Cycle**_** category. It is my own story, but I haven't been getting many reviews on fictionpress, so I thought I'd see what you guys think of it. There is a summary on my profile.**

**I do not own: Artemis Fowl, Holly Short, Commander Root, Commander Vinyaya, Trouble Kelp, Chix Verbil, Grub Kelp, Lilli Frond or anything else that can be directly associated with the series.**

**I do own: The plot, Rowan Long, and Root's subconscious.**

**Chapter Eleven**

**Unexpected Turns**

Zarshalla ran on all fours toward the Triad's shack. How had they survived? What was she going to tell the Triad? She couldn't imagine that they would believe her, but if she said nothing and they found out…the consequences didn't bear thinking about.

She hesitated in front of the door as she remembered the new code (it was changed on a random basis) four quick knocks, a pause, then two slower knocks. The door swung open and she had the feeling that everyone there was glaring at her as she entered. She had just been there, what reason could she possibly have to come back so soon?

Scalene, seated between the other members of the Triad at the far end of the room licked his eyeballs in silence as he waited for her to explain herself. A silence that somehow seemed more threatening than any spoken words.

Nervously, she stepped closer to them and uttered three short words, "Holly Short lived."

The silence that followed this statement was so complete that had one of the goblins been shedding his skin the sound would have been clearly heard.

"How?" Scalene finally rasped.

"I don't know! Maybe if she stayed near the entrance…"

Scalene rose to his feet, "Maybe we should throw _you_ into the Murderous Caves!" he roared, "If you cannot get rid of one elf then how can you possibly infiltrate the LEP? You could not get the information we'll need for our uprising. What good are you to us?"

Zarshalla cringed back, pressing her palms flat against the dirty floor in a submissive posture.

"I've already infiltrated the school," she hissed, keeping her eyes on the floor, "If Holly Short can survive even the horrors of the Murderous Caves then she is a threat to us all, not just competition for me. She needs to be dealt with."

Scalene sat back down, distracted by the bigger threat she had pointed out. Zarshalla relaxed slightly, knowing that Short and her boyfriend had survived those caves did not make her any more eager to see the inside of them herself.

Each member of the Triad was deep in thought (which was quite a strain). Obviously they had to prevent Holly Short from ever becoming a LEP officer. The challenge was deciding how to go about it.

_TimeSkip_

Commander Julius Root stood against the wall of the academy's gym, chewing on a fungal cigar (Vinyaya had expressly forbidden him to light it), and grumbling under his breath as the students filed in. He didn't understand why Raine thought it was a good idea to have him help out with the martial arts class. It seemed to him that she was using this saboteur as an excuse to get him to do some of her work for her. _Why couldn't I just say no?_ he wondered. No doubt he would have if anyone else had asked.

_Because you owe a debt to the fathers of both the kids involved in this that you can't pay back to them directly. Besides, you like her, _his subconscious answered.

_I do not! _His upper conscious responded indignantly.

_Oh come on, you know you do._

_Shut up! _His subconscious immediately retreated to the back of his mind where it belonged. He may not have been so upset with it had it not sounded so much like Foaly.

Root glared at the gathering students making a mental note to keep a special eye on that goblin skulking in the back. He cleared his throat loudly to get their attention, though they were already so quiet they could have heard a dragon's scale drop if there had been any dragons in the room, which there weren't. If there had been Root doubted the students would be half as quiet as they were. That thought made him wonder which that meant the students were more afraid of.

"As you all may know I am Commander Root of the Lower Elements Police Reconnaissance. Your usual instructor is unable to be here today so I have been asked to fill in." This wasn't quite true of course, but they didn't need to worry about some saboteur they couldn't do anything about.

"Well let's get started then," he scanned the group of students and noticed out of the twenty-odd crowd three were girls. _What is it with these females wanting to get into men's business. It's not as if they can make it, _he thought. His subconscious thought about pointing out that Vinyaya had done rather well for herself, but wisely decided to keep quiet. "Let's have Kelp," that seemed like a good idea, Corporal Trouble Kelp was one of the best officers in Recon and Root was considering promoting him. Perhaps it ran in the family. "…and Frond." He thought he covered his surprise very well when a blond elf girl who looked as if she couldn't last five minutes against a serious opponent stepped onto the mat that marked the combat area. "Which are you?" he asked.

"Lilli Frond, sir," she saluted.

"So where's Kelp?" A young elf who looked like he just might be the only person on the planet Frond could actually beat stepped onto the mat. Root suppressed a groan. _At least they're evenly matched. _Looking a Lilli Frond's inch-long fingernails he wondered whether that was really true. Assuming she had the brains to use them. "Well get started then."

Kelp shuffled his feet on the end of the mat that was as far from the girl as he could get. "Um, sir?"

"What?"

"I can't hit a girl, sir."

Root didn't bother to suppress the groan this time. He looked back at the list. "Fine, Verbil then."

"Do you mean I'll fight Verbil, or she will?"

"Which one of you is Verbil?" a sprite stepped forward. Great, he would be too busy trying to flirt with the girl to bother fighting her. "You," he motioned to Kelp. Frond stepped off the mat and Verbil stepped on.

Kelp hesitantly moved toward Verbil and the moment he did the sprite took off. He flipped once in midair, kicking the elf in the chest and knocking him to the ground, flat on his back. Verbil landed soundly on his feet. It would have been an impressive move against practically any other opponent.

"That's not fair!" whined Kelp_,_ rubbing his chest where Verbil had kicked him. "I'm telling Mommy!"

In the split second before he exploded Root heard a muttered "I can't believe I'm stuck with him as a roommate!" from somewhere in the crowd of students.

"You're going to tell _who_?" Root's face was as purple as one could get without exploding.

"My mo—"

"Get out of here!" Kelp didn't need to be told twice.

Root took a moment to let his face return to a slightly less unusual shade before continuing. He glanced at his clipboard and chose the name most likely to belong to someone who was actually intelligent. "Let's get Short up here."

An auburn-haired female stepped onto the mat. "Holly Short, sir," she confirmed with a salute. Despite what she had just seen her opponent do, she wore a grin that could only be described as cocky. _She's the Commander's daughter all right. _How many years had he been the commander of Recon and he still thought of Audacious Short as the Commander?

"Well, show me what you can do."

She nodded, and immediately took a solid stance, facing her opponent. Ready for anything. Verbal immediately tried his flip, which was exactly what she wanted. She reached out and grabbed his ankle just before his foot made contact, and used his own momentum to flip him onto the mat. She promptly sat on him and brought her hand in a chopping motion towards the nerve cluster at the base of his neck, stopping just short of actually paralyzing him. She looked up at Root expectantly.

Root felt a corner of his mouth turn up unintentionally (only about three people in the world would have noticed). If he had had any doubts about who her father was they were long gone. Out loud he only said, "All right, let him up." She did so, trying not to show her disappointment in the lack of praise. Had anyone else done what she just had Root might have been more openly impressed, but she was so much like her father (and himself if he was honest) that he knew telling her she had done a good job would just make her cocky. It was better for her if he didn't say anything, whether she knew it or not.

Looking back at the list he decided to see what she could do against a possibly more worthy opponent. "Long, it's your turn." Short immediately looked less cocky and Long seemed reluctant to step onto the mat. It only took Root a few seconds to realize why.

This was going to be interesting.

**So I hope that was worth the wait. I do not know whether I want Holly or Rowan to win, so review and let me know who you think should. That is going to be fun to write, but I can't write it until I know who wins, which means I can't write until you review. Not reviewing is punishable by Dalek.**

**Dalek: EXTERMINATE! (Tries to shoot me)**

**Me: Artemis Fowl the Second! I thought you were going to fix it!**

**Arty: I thought I did, Davros was most helpful.**

**Me: No wonder it's trying to shoot everyone!**

**Foaly: I'll fix it! (pushes button, Dalek powers down) I installed an override, thought that might come in handy. Never trust an evil genius.**

**Arty: I'm an evil genius!**

**Foaly: Did I ever say I trust you?**

**Arty: …**

**Me: Alright boys you can argue later. I'm going to contact Stargate Command. We need professional help.**

**Arty and Foaly: But…!**

**Me: No buts! Now where did I put that phone?**

**Thanks and prayer,**

**RAHbooks**


	13. Chapter 13

**Finally! The voices are speaking to me again! Sorry about the wait, I knew what was gonna happen, I just had a hard time describing it. Still not sure how good it is, but I figured I made you guys wait long enough.**

**Disclaimer: Still don't own anything to do with Artemis Fowl. I am however working on a fantasy novel I do own which you can find on my profile. (Hint hint)**

**Chapter Twelve**

**Unusual Strategy**

"Well, get started," Root said impatiently. "Or do you have a problem fighting a girl, Long?"

"No, sir," the young elf replied with a salute.

The two students turned to face each other. They began to circle each other, both watching for an opportunity. There was no overconfidence this time, they took each other seriously. At least that's what Root though until he noticed the way Holly was moving, deliberately stretching herself to show off her figure. Between her movements and the tight-fitting uniform little was left to the imagination. Needless to say her opponent found this distracting.

Suddenly Holly dropped to support herself on her hands and one knee, her other leg outstretched as she spun. Rowan jumped just in time to avoid being hit. He landed firmly on his feet and Holly sprung easily to hers. He threw a punch at her which she easily dodged. She quickly grabbed his wrist before he could pull back. He twisted his arm free and grabbed hold of hers in the same motion, then pulled her towards him and got her in a pincer grip. Rather than fighting him she relaxed almost seductively against him. The instant he loosened his grip she twisted around and knocked him to the ground straddling his chest and pinning down his arms. Using his legs Rowan flipped so that he was on top of Holly. For a moment it seemed clear that he would be the winner. However he was uncomfortable holding a girl in that position and immediately stood. Holly turned over and gathered her arms and legs under her as if to push herself up. Instead she shot one leg back out, tripping him again. He was back on his feet in the same instant she was.

Things went on like that for a while. Every time it looked like Rowan had an advantage Holly would remind him she was a girl and he would back off.

Finally Holly got him face down on the ground, planted one foot on the small of his back and bent one arm behind him like a chicken wing. Root waited to see if Rowan could get out of that one. Either he couldn't or he had decided the fight had gone on long enough.

"All right, let him up." Holly stepped off her opponent and turned to face Root. He waited for Rowan to stand before he spoke. "You need to stop being so scared to hurt a girl," he told Rowan, ignoring the fact that the girl in question had been fighting dirty. He turned to Holly next, "Well I have to admit that was an , er, interesting strategy, but don't count on it working in the field." If Holly could have seen the faces of the male students behind her she would have argued the point.

When Rowan turned to rejoin the rest of the class he did see them. He glared threateningly and suddenly the boys who had been staring at Holly found the floor or ceiling much more interesting. Chix was slower than the rest but he got the message eventually.

Root flipped through the papers on his clipboard, trying to find someone who might actually beat Short.

"Komodo, let's see what you can do." The only goblin in the room stepped onto the matt. Short didn't seem the slightest bit deterred.

They moved in close, watching each other carefully. When they were close enough Zarshalla whispered so that only Holly could hear, "How did you survive?"

"I told you, they aren't as bad as people think."

"Did you find another way out? Did you go somewhere else?"

"Oh, of course, I had tea with my grandmother." That was the last straw. Zarshalla flung herself at Holly throwing her to the ground and drew back a fist. A fire ball formed around it.

**Short chapter, but I really felt like I needed to go ahead and get it up here, besides I kind of like the cliffie maybe it will motivate me to get the next chapter done sooner.**

**I'll give ya'll a break from the Dalek threats since it's been so long. Everyone gets fudge! But you can still review.**

**Dalek: You took too long updating! You must be exterminated!**

**Me: But if you exterminate me I can't write the next chapter!**

**Artemis: I can finish it for you!**

**Me: Traitor!**

**Dalek: EXTERMINATE!**

**Thanks and prayer,**

**RAHbooks**


	14. Chapter 14

**Behold! The new chapter is up! (revival preacher last night challenged us to use behold more often, just though I'd have some fun with it.) Anyway, not as long a wait as last time, but longer than I would have liked. I think part of the problem is that I've been getting into a new fandom recently and that has distracted me. I won't be working on anything major for it until I finish this though. Anyway, I hope you like it.**

**Eoin Colfer told me that if I claimed to own Artemis Fowl he would send a Dalek after me, so I guess I don't own it.**

**Chapter Thirteen**

**Narrow Escape**

Root didn't hesitate, he dropped the clipboard and jumped forward, grabbing Zarshalla's arm and forcing it behind her. She released the fireball, but he positioned himself so that I flew past him, scorching the wall, but thankfully not catching anything of fire. Soon he had the goblin pinned to the floor with both arms behind her. He looked up to see Rowan helping Holly to her feet. "You all right, Short?"

"Yessir, I'm fine," she responded quickly.

'All right then. The rest of you run along, I need to have a word with these two." Rowan was the last one out, glancing back at Holly before closing the door behind him. Root let Zarshalla up, but was ready to put her down again the moment it looked like she was going to cause any trouble. He glanced at the two females for a moment, his face a lovely shade of magenta. "What under the earth was that about?" he growled.

"This fighting class. Goblins fight, we use fire," Zarshalla stated matter of factly.

'Not in class you don't!' Root's face darkened to purple.

Holly shifted in place, wondering if she should say something. But what could she say? "Oh, she was just wondering how I survived the Murderous Caves," right, that would explain everything.

" I well be informing Commander Vinyaya of this incident. Dismissed!"

Hours later, Holly once again stood in Commander Vinyaya's office. "Did you do anything to provoke her?" the older elf asked.

Rather than answering right away about the specific incident Holly took a moment to think back to when Zarshalla's hostility had started. 'No sir, not that I know of.'

Vinyaya studied her for a moment, as if trying to decide whether or not she was telling the truth. "Can you think of anything that might have caused her to dislike you?"

"Other than the fact that goblins generally don't lie anyone? No sir."

Vinyaya sighed, that was pretty much the answer she had expected. "Very well then. Back to your classes, Short.' Holly saluted and left.

Vinyaya turned to her computer and started doing the necessary "paperwork". They really should have expected something like this to happen, she had thought letting a goblin into the LEP Academy was a mistake from the start, but refusing based on species was discrimination. She had already spoken with the goblin in question and she had failed to provide reasonable explanation for her behavior. Then there were those equipment malfunctions, always around Short, the only female currently enrolled who stood a chance of actually getting into Recon, the same field Komodo was trying to get into. There was no solid evidence that the goblin had anything to do with that , but Vinyaya would bet just about anything that once she gone the "accidents" would stop.

"So, how did it go?" Fiona asked over the holocomunicator.

"Not so bad actually. She started it, so I'm not in any trouble at all.' Holly had of course left out the bit about going into the Murderous Caves on a dare. Her sister knew as much about them as she did, but she wouldn't think much of Holly nearly exposing their secrets for a dare.

"Do you think the goblin is going to get expelled?"

Holly shrugged, "Maybe, she did nearly start a fire."

Fiona grinned, "How's your boyfriend?"

"He is not my boyfriend!"

"But you knew who I was talking about." And you're blushing. And he came to your rescue."

"He just helped me up for crying out loud!"

"At least he's a gentleman, and cute."

"Is this how all our conversations going to be from now on?"

"Until you admit you like him, yes."

"You don't give up do you?"

"I'm a Short, that should tell you something right there."

"Good point."

**Again, short chapter, but I didn't know where to go from there and I felt like I needed to get it up.**

**Artemis and Foaly now have help fixing the Dalek. Dr. Rodney McKay, Donatello, Forge, the Beast, Tony Stark, Minerva Paradizo, Chloe Sullivan, Sylar, Kisuke Urahara, Dr. Mohinder Suresh, and Colonel Samantha Carter, are all helping out. With that many geniuses on the job he should be up and running in no time, so I suggest you review.**

**Artemis: Why is there a giant talking turtle?**

**Donatello: Because I'm a genius. And I got blackmailed, she has pictures of me and my brothers, and threatened to put them in the news.**

**Foaly: He has brothers?**

**Beast: I've seen stranger things.**

**Everyone else: …**

**Thanks and prayer,**

**RAHbooks**


	15. Chapter 15

**Well this one came a bit sooner compared to what I've been doing. Not sure if this is good news or bad, but it looks like we're getting close to the end. Well Caleb is in this chapter, sorry it took so long to bring him back!**

**Disclaimer: By now you really should know that I do not own Artemis Fowl.**

**Chapter Fourteen**

**Surprise Party**

Holly entered the caves, closely followed by Rowan. Checking to make sure he was ready, she snapped her fingers and lit the torches on the wall. "I don't hear Caleb," Rowan noticed.

Holly shrugged, "He could be anywhere, some people claim these caves connect worlds."

"Any truth to that one?"

"Maybe, it would depend on whether there are actually other worlds for them to connect to."

Without Caleb's out of tune singing the caves were eerily quiet. Strange how you can wish for something annoying when it's not there. As they came closer to Mab's home they realized that Caleb wasn't as far off as he could have been.

"Oo ee oo ah ah…" it was definitely Caleb singing.

"Well at least he got the words right," Holly muttered.

"Assuming he's actually singing what you think he is. The tune is so off it's hard to tell," Rowan pointed out.

Holly knocked on the door and Mab quickly answered. " Holly dear, there you are! I see you brought your boyfriend," the elderly elf said, stepping aside to let them in.

Holly rolled her eyes, "Grandma, how many times do I have to tell you? He's not my boyfriend."

"Hi, Hollypop!" Fiona waved at her from the couch.

"Fifi! what are you doing here?"

"What? They're my relatives too you know."

"I thought you would be at your dig site, that's all."

And miss my baby sister's birthday? I don't think so." Holly looked at her blankly. "Don't tell me you actually forgot your own birthday! Here we are throwing you a surprise party and we didn't even know it. And you haven't introduced me to your boyfriend yet either."

Holly was about to answer that when Vivian started yelling from the kitchen, struggling to be heard over Caleb's singing, "Will someone get this—what's the opposite of a siren?—whatever he is get him out of my—_don't put your fingers in that!"_

"Why don't you just wave Excalibur at him? You're always using it to chop vegetables," Mab called back.

Seconds later Caleb came running out of the kitchen, closely followed by Vivian who was brandishing an icing-covered spoon. He ducked behind Holly and grabbed her so she couldn't move away from him. "She try to hi' me Shor'y!"

"Aw, go easy on him, Aunt V, you know he doesn't know any better," Fiona sympathized, she knew from experience that a whack from that spoon could be quite painful. Vivian hmphed and marched back into the kitchen. Rowan watched the whole scene and wondered what exactly he had gotten himself into.

Holly twisted around, trying to see Caleb, "She's not really going to hurt you, you know," she paused to think about that statement. "Well at least she won't permanently maim you or anything."

Caleb shook his head insistently, "She cwazy!"

"You're just now figuring that out?" Mab muttered.

Holly finally managed to get Caleb to let go of her and they all settled down to talk while they waited for Vivian to finish cooking. It was only a few more minutes before she brought out lunch. "Don't worry about the mess, we live in a cave after all."

Despite the fact that Holly never actually got around to introducing Rowan and Fiona they did talk and it didn't take Rowan long to figure out that once history was brought up she did most of the talking.

"Hey, what happened with that goblin?" Fiona asked eventually.

"Well I haven't seen her around lately so I guess she was expelled, or suspended at least," Holly answered.

"There haven't been any more of those accidents either," Rowan pointed out.

"Sounds to me like they were related," Mab said thoughtfully. "Well at least the problem has been dealt with."

By this time they had finished eating and it wasn't long before Caleb started bouncing around shouting "Ca, ca, ca!"

"All right, all right, hold your horses," Vivian said getting up and heading for the kitchen.

"Wha' hosses?" Caleb asked, looking puzzled.

"She means calm down," Fiona explained.

"Are you sure you want to give him sugar?" Rowan muttered.

Vivian came back with the cake (chocolate of course). Fairies don't put candles on their birthday cakes, if they did the fire department would be much busier, but they did sing "Happy Birthday". As usual Caleb was louder than anyone else, wildly off key, out of tune, and of course didn't pronounce a single word correctly. It was the most fun Holly had had on her birthday in a long time.

Holly and Rowan took their time getting through the caves on their way back. Rowan chuckled and Holly looked at him wondering what was so funny. "I can just imagine what Lilli Frond will say if she finds out we were both gone this long. You know her."

"I don't know her, I just live with her," Holly protested. She paused to put out the torches as they exited the caves.

The next thing they knew they were surrounded by goblins.

**I love cliffhanger endings! Anyway, they couldn't figure out how to fix the Dalek, they did however succeed in building a TARDIS. How they could do that, but not what I wanted them to I do not know. Artemis will be using the TARDIS to pick up geniuses from the future and other worlds, so the Dalek should be up and running soon. Therefore you should review. I still have fudge!**

**Thanks and prayer,**

**RAHbooks **


	16. Chapter 16

**I know I said on my profile that I never update on Sundays, but (1 it has been way to long since I updated and (2 my mom is sick so we're not going to church anyway. I figured I would take advantage of the opportunity. Anyway, sorry this took so long. **

**Disclaimer: How many times do I have to say I don't own Artemis Fowl?**

**Chapter Fifteen**

**Ambush**

"D'Arvit!" Holly muttered, tuning around and realizing that one of the four goblins had cut them off from the cave entrance.

"How do you come in and out?" one of them demanded.

This was bad. If the gangs figured out enough of the rules to survive in the Murderous Caves they would have the perfect hiding place. Even if the LEP found out where they were they wouldn't dare follow them in.

"What makes you think we know how to get in and out of these caves?" Holly retorted.

"Because I have seen you do it!" a fifth goblin announced, emerging from the shadows. Zarshalla. Now that was just perfect.

"How do you know we didn't hang out just inside?" Rowan challenged.

Zarshalla hissed angrily, and flung a fireball at them. Holly and Rowan both ducked and the fireball slammed into one of the other goblins. Of course goblins were fireproof, but the fireball's impact—and possibly the strain of trying to figure out where it had come from—was enough to stun this one. Rowan was closer to it, quickly sprang into action. He jabbed one of the goblin's nerve clusters causing it to crumple to the ground. He and Holly ran through the resulting opening.

The confused goblins looked around wondering what had happened for a few moments before they realized their prey was escaping and took off after them. The bad news was that goblins could move fast when they wanted to. The good news was that they had terrible aim. Holly noticed several of the building catching fire. She was glad the area was deserted, and hoped that no daredevil "teenagers" were around just then.

Holly heard a goblin catching up behind her and turned around to face it. he was charging her head-on like a bull. She stepped to the side at the last moment, grabbed onto the loose, scaly skin he was using as clothes, and used his own momentum to flip him over. A quick jab to the a nerve cluster and he was out.

Before she could straighten up another goblin had her pinned to the ground. His nostrils flared, and she realized he must have snorted up a fireball while she was dealing with his comrade. He was now preparing to fire it back at her. Fortunately for her, he hadn't bothered to make sure she couldn't use her arms. Grimacing she stuck her fingers up his nostrils, blocking the fireball's path. He was out in seconds.

She stood and turned to see Rowan running back toward her. She started to run for him when she felt a fireball slam into her back. She fell forward, managing to catch herself with her hands. She could already feel the magic working on her burns. The goblin reached her about the same time Rowan did it was on the ground beside her before it knew what hit it.

Rowan helped her up and partly supported her. Holly held back a groan, knowing she shouldn't be moving yet, but it was preferable to still being there when the goblins came to.

They started to slowly make third way through what was left of the abandoned area. Suddenly Zarshalla jumped down from the roof of building, landing a few yards in front of them. Holly was in no shape to run, and there was no way Rowan would be able to let go of her and get Zarshalla before the goblin could dispatch a fireball.

Zarshalla licked her eyeballs, and grinned. A fireball formed around her right hand. "Tell me the secret," she hissed.

"No," Holly growled back.

Zarshalla hissed, drew back her arm, and fell to the ground. Behind her Trouble Kelp blew imaginary smoke from the top of his Neutrino, twirled it around his finger, and holstered it with a cocky grin. "So you kids only left me one?"

One of the LEP officers was able to cuff the goblins and load them into the back of a LEP vehicle before they woke up. Others quickly put out the fires using some invention of Foaly's that compressed water into a container that seemed impossibly small. Then they took Holly and Rowan to Police Plaza for the necessary questions and paperwork. Unfortunately they had to do the paperwork on paper since they didn't have access to the LEP's computers

When they hesitated to explain what they had been doing in the area a few of the officers exchanged winks and smirks, apparently assuming they had been looking for someplace private. Neither bothered to correct them, it was easier than explaining the truth.

About an hour after the LEP had come to the rescue Trouble was dropping them off at the Academy's entrance. Holly hoped that the next time she rode in the LEP vehicle she would be the one driving it.

"Well, I'm glad that's over," Holly sighed.

"So am I," Rowan replied, turning to face her.

Holly laughed quietly, "some birthday."

"maybe this will make it better," Rowan said and kissed her.

The next time Fiona called him her boyfriend she didn't argue.

**So that's officially the end of the story, but there are two one-shots that go along with it that I will posting as chapters. I already have them written, I just need to type and post them. Hopefully I'll get them up in the next two weeks.**

**Artemis is still running around in a TARDIS trying to find some more geniuses to help repair the Dalek, so need to worry about getting exterminated. But please review anyway, I still have fudge!**

**Thanks and Prayer,**

**RAHbooks **


	17. Chapter 17

**It's later in the week than I was hoping for, but at least it's up! Hope you enjoy it.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything having to do with Artemis Fowl. I don't even own the names of my OCs in this one. I wonder if anyone can guess where I got them?**

**Initiation**

Seven months in traffic was seven months too long, especially if your girlfriend had had her initiation a month ago. Which was exactly the position Rowan Long found himself in. making matters worse was the fact that Grub Kelp was his partner. Grub was the complete opposite of his older brother, the well-known Captain Trouble Kelp, Rowan would be shocked if he ever actually made it into the LEP.

"Don't worry, partner, I'm sure we'll get our chance soon!" Grub said cheerfully.

Rowan didn't bother to answer. Grub was just trying to distract himself from the boredom of their job. The magna strips that vehicles travelled on automatically made certain that traffic laws were obeyed, so apart from parking tickets there wasn't much for traffic officers to do but walk around in those stupid suits that turned them into road signs. Holly had been lucky when she caught that fish smuggler.

Suddenly a message came through from Police Plaza, 'Rowan Long, and Trouble Kelp, report to Commander Root's office immediately." The two Corporals glanced at each other than ran full tilt toward Police Plaza.

Once they got past the receptionist they went into Commander Root's office where four other Rookies were waiting. "We're the last ones here?" Grub pouted.

Root waved a hand dismissively "You two were the furthest away. Point is you got here fast.' He scanned the room, taking note of everyone present. "Roll call, so I know I've got you all straight. Kiba Akumaru."

"Here, Sir," a Pixie saluted.

"Grub Kelp."

"Here, Sir."

"Tite Kubo."

"Here, Sir," a Sprite answered, lifting off slightly as he saluted.

"Rowan Long."

"Here, Sir."

"Chix Verbil."

"Ready and rarin' to go, Sir!"

"Settle down, Sprite. Phil Vischer."

"Here, Sir," another Pixie saluted.

"All right then, let's get started."

An hour later they had all been drained of magic and were sitting in a shuttle on their way to the surface along with Commander Root and Captain Kelp. Commander Root strode out of the cockpit into the passenger area.

"You all know why you're here. Initiation time. We're heading to a manor north of Dublin. Two hundred acres walled off from the rest of the world with tight security, not fairy-proof of course, but no Mud Men are getting in there. The family is on vacation, along with the staff. We should have plenty of time, but of course that's no reason to dilly-dally around, understood?"

A chorus of "Sir, yes, Sir" answered him.

Root nodded in approval. "Once we get there you six will be dropped off at the main gate, after that it's simple, you hunt me and I hunt you. Captain Kelp will be taking video from above for evaluation of performance. You will each have a paintball gun,' he gestured to a rock beside the shuttle door. "You drag me before I drag you and you're in, no questions asked. Of course only one rookie has ever pulled that off and that was only because a criminal interfered, so don't get your hopes up."

Rowan couldn't help but smile at that, after all Holly Short was the one rookie who had managed to tag the Commander first. He didn't plan on letting his girlfriend outdo him.

The shuttle touched down just inside the manor gate. "What about security cameras?" Rowan asked, if they couldn't shield they would have to be careful of those.

"A tech team came up here yesterday and took care of that. They rewired all the cameras to feed down to Haven, all the footage will be replaced with a loop feed. If you get caught we'll see you, but the humans won't. the idea is for us not to see you."

Rowan nodded, that made sense. There was no guarantee a rouge fairy would go somewhere with no cameras in which case a Recon officer would have to be careful not to get caught on video, especially if they couldn't shield.

'Any more questions?" his pause was barely enough for anyone who had one to speak up. "Good You've got twenty minutes, then I'm coming after you." He retreated back into the shuttle and lifted off. Once it had safely passed Captain Kelp took off as well, no doubt using Foaly's technology to keep track of them all. Not that that would have been hard, considering that no one else had moved.

Root sat in the shuttle for exactly twenty minutes before heading out to look for the Rookies. He had been sure to bring his tri-barreled blaster. After what had happened during Short's initiation he wasn't taking any chances. He wandered around the grounds, keeping a sharp eye out for the initiates. He doubted any of them would be stupid enough to go too close to the manor house, so he stuck to the trees that were allowed to grow wildly past the gardens.

Eventually he spotted one of the Sprites flying near the tops of the trees. He was low enough that it was unlikely the security cameras would pick him up, but he was all too visible to the Commander. Root drew his paint pistol and fired. The Sprite deftly dodged and took off through the trees. Idiot, he should have taken advantage of the chance to fire back.

Root followed him, keeping an eye on his surroundings. The Sprite remained just in sight. If he hadn't been a rookie Root would have suspected and ambush. But initiates never worked together, they always saw each other as rivals.

Root broke into a small clearing and was promptly hit by paintballs from six different directions including above. Before he had realized what was happening he was surrounded by cheering initiates.

"What in Frond's name is going on here?" he roared, his face turning it's signature shade of red.

"We ambushed you," Rowan Long announced. "We figured not one of us would stand a chance against you so we ganged up. Kubo and Verbil scouted out this place which we surrounded. The we sent Kubo to lure you in."

"It was all his idea!" the Sprite said quickly.

Root was impressed, not that he would admit it. He never should have assumed they wouldn't work together. "I have got to stop passing initiates if they tag me. Well I guess you're all in, don't make me regret it."

Only one of them did.

**I hope that made sense. I think Root's biggest weakness is that he's too confident, so I just liked the idea of a few Rookies catching him by surprise and ganging up on him. **

**Remember to review, Arty got back from trying to find some scientists with the TARDIS. We now have Geordie Laforge, Scotty, Dr. Tim Marko, Jules Vern, Leonardo Davinci Captain Mayuri Kurotsuichi, Sosuke Aizen, Szayel Aporro Granz, Tucker, The Master, The Shredder Dr. Cable and…**

**Me: Arty we need to talk, what's with all the evil dudes on this list!**

**Arty: Don't call me Arty, and not all of them are evil.**

**Me: Mayuri does experiments on live people! He counts as evil! Only like five people here aren't evil! And two of them are dead!**

**Donatello: Gee, thanks.**

**Me: Um, I meant of the new guys.**

**Donny: Whatever. Who wants pizza?**

**Thanks and prayer, **

**RAHbooks **


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl or any of the characters- except for Rowan Long he is my little slave.**

**This story takes place four years before the Fowl Manor Siege. This was originally my first Fanfiction, but it go such good reviews I decided it needed some background which is where this whole thing comes in. I ended up taking this one down to avoid spoiling the ending because originally Young and Stupid was supposed to just skim the academy and go into more detail as this came closer. Then the saboteur story came in and just sort of took over, so here we are. **

**Thanks to everyone who has reviewed this story, Rainbowmouse, Readergirl99 obsessivereader95, Dragonfly999, peach pie raspberry, too many books, Evil Riggs, Kalen Bloodstone, cloudseeker6729, thalia grace lover, victoriam 549, Yoshichao, LEPrecon michelle ivashkov, Crazy Female LEPrecon, dOcTeRIOvEr-ArTeMiSlOvEr, and Becket Simpleton, thanks for all the encouragement and constructive criticism. Wow! I didn't realize so many people were following this! Anyway to anyone who added to alerts or favorites without reviewing I'm grateful to you too, I'm just too lazy to write down names right away so I won't forget them, sorry.**

**Anyway, with all that said here is the chapter that started, ends and will either make or break this story.**

**The Hunter Hunted**

Rowan Long stumbled out of the shuttle, obviously exhausted. Captain Trouble Kelp followed him with a disapproving frown. Holly Short bit back her concern. She was on the job, personal matters could wait. Long and Kelp both disappeared into the commander's office, and it wasn't long before everyone could hear Root's ranting. Holly could easily picture how red the commander's face would be, she had been called into the office quite often in the few months since her initiation. Rowan, who had been her partner in traffic, had just passed his. Being called in to see the commander after your first mission was not a good sign- even if the commander was Julius "Beetroot" Root.

Her boyfriend's predicament became harder to ignore as Root's volume increased. _Ro must have really pissed him off._ Holly thought, _he's never even yelled at __**me**__ that loud-I think._

Finally the door to the office opened, "Get out," Root snarled, his face even redder than usual. "You're off-duty pending a tribunal." Holly could not hold back a gasp. Whatever had happened up there it must have been bad. Root turned his glare on her, "Mind your own business, Corporal!" Holly though it best not to mention that, as she and Rowan had been dating since the academy, what happened to him technically was her business. Rowan would probably tell her what had happened later anyway.

As soon as her shift ended Holly went straight to Rowan's home. She stood nervously outside the door to his apartment for a moment before getting up the courage to knock. He answered almost immediately. "I thought you might drop by," he sighed, waving her in. He did not seem as excited to see her as usual which did not bode well.

"Ro, what happened up there?" she asked tentatively.

"A rogue goblin went nuts and started shooting fireballs. They were in a building, so there was nothing I could do. Five humans were killed."

Holly's eyes widened, "Five? Rowan that's…that's awful!" It took a lot to make Holly stammer, but five deaths was no small thing.

Rowan snorted, "At least we didn't have to worry about mind wipes."

"But five people killed, that's…"

"Five _humans_, not people. We are the People, and that's five less to worry about finding us. I don't see why everyone is making such a big deal over this. They were only humans."

Holly was shocked. She had heard Rowan complain about humans before, everyone did, but to talk like this when he had just witnessed something so horrible…she could not understand it."Ro, I know you hate humans. Who doesn't? they don't even like each other! But if we don't care what happens to them how does that make us any better?"

Rowan sighed and looked up at the ceiling as if an answer was written for him there. "I should have known you wouldn't understand," he said at last. "You're too sensitive, Holly." She left without another word.

They made up soon enough. The tribunal passed and Rowan was acquitted based on the facts that he had not been invited into the building and Recon officers were not supposed to make contact with rogues anyway.

Then it happened again. And again. It seemed that every time Rowan Long went to the surface at least one human died. Holly avoided talking to him about it as such conversations inevitably turned into arguments. She was getting apprehensive. Why were so many people dying? Why didn't it seem to bother Rowan? If anything he seemed glad of the deaths.

Apparently Commander Root shared her concerns. He called them both into his office one night. "We have a rogue sprite in Ireland. I am sending you both up after him."

"_Both_ of us?" Rowan spluttered, apparently alarmed at the idea.

"Yes. Corporal Short here has several successful recons under her belt with no fatalities. Maybe she can teach you a thing or two."

Rowan started to object, then thought better of it. "Yes, sir," he saluted.

"Good. There's a full moon tonight so you two might as well complete the ritual while you're up there. Just don't turn the mission into a date, do that on your own time." Holly felt her cheeks flush as she and Rowan saluted and headed out. After all that was probably exactly what they were going to do.

The mission went easily enough. They kept an eye on the sprite until Trouble Kelp and the retrieval team came to take him back to Haven. They stopped at a fairly inaccessible site (by human standards) to collect an acorn each, and landed in a wooded area to bury them.

As they wandered around aimlessly Holly began to think that Root had overreacted, or maybe it was just that the sprite had not caused any problems. In fact he had been a bit more cooperative than most rogues were.

Suddenly, Rowan stopped. Two humans, obviously father and son, were sitting between a tent and a small fire, looking bored. Rowan's eyes narrowed and he produced a gun, Holly couldn't tell from where. This was no Neutrino. This was a human gun. Designed to kill.

"What are you doing?" Holly hissed, trying not to be heard by the all-too-close Mud Men.

"Taking care of a problem before it starts," Rowan answered, aiming at the boy.

Holly laid a hand on his arm, forcing it down. "No," she said firmly.

"This was the whole point of letting the sprite get to the surface. These people have the tightest security of any Mud Men I have ever seen. Not to mention the two _very large_ bodyguards. I may never get this chance again." He said calmly.

"He can't be more than eight years old!" Holly protested more loudly than she should have.

The boy stood and looked right at them. Despite the screen of bushes that hid them Holly felt the urge to shield. The man spoke, "What is it son?"

"I heard something," the boy replied.

"Probably just a deer," his father reasoned.

"No, I am sure it was not."

Rowan pulled away from Holly. "Do you see? He's smart. I guarantee that in four years he will find out about us and cause more trouble than our world has seen in centuries."

"I don't care! He's just a child!" Holly stepped between Rowan's gun and the boy.

"Do you honestly think I won't?" Rowan's voice was cold and his eyes were so full of hate as he pointed his gun at her that she wondered how she had never seen it before.

"I won't let you kill that boy!" she said stubbornly. An idea seemed to occur to Rowan, he shielded and left. "D'Arvit!" Holly swore, then she heard Foaly's voice in her ear.

"Thank the gods you didn't take you helmet off for once.! I saw the whole thing. You should see Root's face! I don't think it's ever been _this _red before!"

"Focus Foaly, we have to do something. Rowan is not going to give up that easily."

"Right, sorry. Captain Kelp is on the way. Root wants you to head back to Haven. I'm sure you know why." Holly bit back another curse. Did _everyone _in the LEP know she and Rowan were together? Well she was the only female in Recon, it couldn't be that hard to work out.

She looked toward the boy who was standing by the fire as if trying to decide whether or not to investigate what he had heard. _Trouble won't get here in time, _she realized. She sealed her helmet and shielded. Stepping into the clearing she quietly made her way to the boy's side and waited.

Within minutes the crack of a gun filled the air. Before the boy could react Holly tackled him and held him down until the bullet whistled over them and was embedded in a tree. She rolled off the boy and his father helped him to stand. "Arty! Are you all right?"

"I am fine, Father, but I suggest we go back to the house. Surely Mother cannot complain after this!" the boy sounded too formal, too grown up to be just eight.

His father nodded and pulled out a cell phone. "I will call the Major to take care of the fire and tent. No point in taking chances." He started out of the clearing, followed closely by his son.

The boy stopped at the edge of the clearing. He looked back and Holly could have sworn his sharp blue eyes met hers. "Thank you," he whispered, and then he was gone. It would be four years before they met again.

**Me: **_**Pleasedon'tkillmepleasedon'tkillmepleasedon'tkillme!**_

**Arty: You have been using Daleks to threaten these people and now you are asking them not to kill you?**

**Me: Haven't you figured out I'm mentally unstable by now? Speaking of the Dalek how's it comeing?**

**Szyal: Quite well actually.**

**Me: Please tell me that lunatic had nothing to with it!**

**Dalek: EXTERMINATE!**

**Me: (Ducks) Arty! What did I tell you about letting the evil geniuses work on it?**

**Arty: They were the only ones who could make any sense of it.**

**Me: Figures.**

**(TARDIS suddenly appears, Doctor steps out and looks around)**

**Doctor: So this is the fanfic writer who has been threatening reviewers with Daleks?**

**Me: Um, technically I only threatened non-reviewers and I couldn't even know who they are so…**

**Doctor: Well we can't have random Daleks around exterminating people, especially if evil geniuses are going to experiment on them. (Sonics Dalek) All right then, carry on. (leaves)**

**Me: Oh well. By the way this is going to be last chapter fic for Artemis Fowl for a while. I will eventually do one where Artemis runs into Rowan and actually knows it, but I want to read the next book first since he's saying it will be the last one so I can match it up to cannon better. If anyone reading this is also a fan a Bleach I am writing a chapter fic for it right now called Phoenix. I am writing ahead on that one, so hopefully updates will be more regular. I will do the same when I return to AF. Until then, please review.**

**Thanks and prayer,**

**RAHbooks**


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